Today my baby boy turns one. I know for some people this might not sound like a huge deal, but for us, for him, it is. Almost a year ago we got the call that a preemie baby boy in the NICU needed a family. That call I answered on a Friday afternoon in the middle of the drive-thru coffee hut changed our lives, and his, forever.
My husband and I have been talking about adopting since we were dating over 13 years ago. So when we got the phone call about our son, this was an answer to prayer. An answer to a calling we had been ready for, for a very long time.
Today as we celebrate him and all he has accomplished in this last year, and through all my excitement, I can't help but be a little sad. Being adopted myself, I always think of my birth mom on my birthday. Wondering if she is thinking of me and what her life is like, and what it must feel like to be reminded every year on Oct 9th (and probably everyday) what it felt like to willingly let her child go, hoping and praying that this was the right decision for the both of us. So now I get to think of my son's birth mom and what she must be feeling on this day. Especially this first birthday of his. As a mother of 3 bioligical children I can't help but grieve a little for Jude's birthmother. I have no idea what life is like for her right now. But I can guarantee she is thinking of him today, wondering what life is like for him. I want so badly for her to know how much he is loved, cherished and adored. Not only by my husband and me, but also by his brothers and sister. All we can do at this point is be thankful, not only that she was willing to "give him a better life", but thankful that God orchestrated this whole thing. That when my husband and I were dating back in college and discussing adopting, that God knew it would be Jude. He planned for him to be a part of our family just as much as Cheyenne, JD and Chase. And possibly ______, ________, _______......who knows what the future holds for our family, thankfully God does!
So as we are singing Happy Birthday, letting him dig into cake, giving him kisses, opening gifts and telling him how much we love him (as we do everyday), know that we are thinking of his birth mom too. Praying that through all of this, that she will come to know Christ as her Savior, and know that through all the pain and second-guessing, that God always had this plan for her little boy. And that we love him just as much as his siblings, and even through the challenges he may face in the future due to circumstances out of his (and our) control, we will love him all the same, and we will raise him to know the love of God. Will you please pray for her today, too?
Susan
Showing posts with label Faith and Family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Faith and Family. Show all posts
Tuesday, September 9, 2014
Wednesday, April 23, 2014
If I Could Write A Letter To Me
Do you listen to country music? If so, you've probably heard that Brad Paisley song; "If I Could Write A Letter To Me". It's basically a song about how if he could, he would go back in time and tell himself not to worry over simple things that seemed to be such a major crises to him in his high school days. We all know what that's like. Middle school/high school probably got the best of us. We thought we had SO much responsibility and so many worries when in fact, we really had no clue what was to come.
So, in trying to come up with something to write about, this song came on. It made me think, what a great blog post this would be! Make your own version of the song! Of course, mine won't be all
rhyme-y and cute, but it will be REAL. So here it goes:
Oh Suzy-Q,
High school days are fun, but they aren't the end all, so I'm here to let you in on a few secrets:
Spend more time with your dad. You won't have much longer with him. Laugh more at his corny jokes as they will become important to you later on. Don't be intimidated by him, he's a bigger softie then you think. Tell him you love him more, and when he offers for you to do something with him, whatever it may be, take him up on that offer. The more memories you can make with him, the better. Know that loosing him will be the hardest time in your life up until now, but it will prepare you for dealing with future losses.
Stop chasing that boy who claims to love you but won't even return your phone calls, he really only cares about himself. Listen to what other people say about him and take it into consideration. Don't let him back in your life when your dad dies, he's just trying to take advantage of the situation! Take off your blinds and and be patient, someone better will be along soon enough. He will be a gentleman, he will become your best friend and treat you the way you deserve to be treated. He will open your car doors, give you undivided attention and fall in love with you after your first date (and you'll make the most beautiful 9lb babies together:) It might not be the person you envisioned yourself with, but he will be so much more to you then you could ever dream of! And, you won't find a better set of in-laws who will love you and care for you just as much as their own children (it's true, those kind of in-laws do exist!)
Pick up your mom's camera and learn how to use it! Take a photography class in high school! You'll need it one day! Stop rolling your eyes when your mom wants to take 10 (million) pictures just to be sure she got one good one; you'll understand why someday!
You probably won't believe me on this one; but childhood friends won't be there for you forever. Time is not what makes a friendship strong. As you mature you'll realize your priorities aren't the same, and that's ok. You'll meet people who have the same goals, beliefs and faith and that's where your true friendships will be found. You'll get burned once, shame on them, you'll get burned twice, three times and more, shame on you. Don't be afraid to stand up for yourself and know when to walk away. Listen to your inner voice telling you you've had enough. The sooner you do, the easier it will be and the less disappointment you'll have to endure. Surrounding yourself with positive, like-minded people is what God wants for you.
Don't be such a brat on your trip to England over the summer just because you had to leave a boy behind. This is a once in a lifetime trip, and with that attitude you'll miss out of the beautiful scenery and learning about history. You'll one day so badly wish you could go back with a better attitude and enjoy the trip to the fullest. The boy will be there when you get back, I promise!
Breaking your foot your senior year of volleyball season isn't the end of the world, but yes, it's gonna stink!! Enjoy being part of the team anyway, you'll miss the camaraderie that a sports team brings.
Don't quit Jubilation (youth church choir). You'll miss being with your friends and wish you hadn't quit. You'll be jealous of the fun they have on their summer trips and be mad at yourself knowing you could have been there with them too.
Pick up a book and read more often. You'll love reading when you're older but won't have the time to as much as you'd like, so learn to enjoy it now!
Don't be scared of change; starting a new school in 11th grade will be one of the best decisions, even though a hard one! You'll make better friends and meet your future husband. This decision will give you the encouragement, support and confidence to get through the loss of your father. You'll have more opportunities to play sports and be involved the way you wish you could have been at your previous school, and the teachers will actually care about your loss and be sensitive to it.
Don't get that perm in 12th grade. Enough said.
Go with your mom more often to visit your Grandma. You won't get to say goodbye because you'll be out of state dealing with another loss when she gets sick and passes away. So, enjoy the monotoney of watching Jeopardy, Wheel-of Fortune and Murder She Wrote with her, even if there are other things you'd rather be doing, you'll miss the simplicity of her visits and the company of her sweet demeanor.
Cut the attitude because you know how your mom says "One day you'll have a girl JUST like you"
???
Well it's true. Maybe you can prevent having to deal with her attitude if you can learn to loose yours now ;) Hey it's worth the shot, TRUST me!!
Sincerely,
Your future/wiser self
Once I got writing, I could have included a TON more! Most of which though, I wouldn't want to share publicly. But, I'm sure we can all relate. What if you wrote a letter to yourself? What do you wish you knew then that you know now? I'm sure 10-20 years from now I'll have more advice for myself. With that, I'm saying good-bye; going to turn off the tv and spend some time with my kids; as I'm sure that will be at the top of my list in 20 years, man they grow so fast!
If you write a letter to yourself, would you mind sharing? I'd love to read it!
~Susan
So, in trying to come up with something to write about, this song came on. It made me think, what a great blog post this would be! Make your own version of the song! Of course, mine won't be all
rhyme-y and cute, but it will be REAL. So here it goes:
Oh Suzy-Q,
High school days are fun, but they aren't the end all, so I'm here to let you in on a few secrets:
Spend more time with your dad. You won't have much longer with him. Laugh more at his corny jokes as they will become important to you later on. Don't be intimidated by him, he's a bigger softie then you think. Tell him you love him more, and when he offers for you to do something with him, whatever it may be, take him up on that offer. The more memories you can make with him, the better. Know that loosing him will be the hardest time in your life up until now, but it will prepare you for dealing with future losses.
Stop chasing that boy who claims to love you but won't even return your phone calls, he really only cares about himself. Listen to what other people say about him and take it into consideration. Don't let him back in your life when your dad dies, he's just trying to take advantage of the situation! Take off your blinds and and be patient, someone better will be along soon enough. He will be a gentleman, he will become your best friend and treat you the way you deserve to be treated. He will open your car doors, give you undivided attention and fall in love with you after your first date (and you'll make the most beautiful 9lb babies together:) It might not be the person you envisioned yourself with, but he will be so much more to you then you could ever dream of! And, you won't find a better set of in-laws who will love you and care for you just as much as their own children (it's true, those kind of in-laws do exist!)
Pick up your mom's camera and learn how to use it! Take a photography class in high school! You'll need it one day! Stop rolling your eyes when your mom wants to take 10 (million) pictures just to be sure she got one good one; you'll understand why someday!
You probably won't believe me on this one; but childhood friends won't be there for you forever. Time is not what makes a friendship strong. As you mature you'll realize your priorities aren't the same, and that's ok. You'll meet people who have the same goals, beliefs and faith and that's where your true friendships will be found. You'll get burned once, shame on them, you'll get burned twice, three times and more, shame on you. Don't be afraid to stand up for yourself and know when to walk away. Listen to your inner voice telling you you've had enough. The sooner you do, the easier it will be and the less disappointment you'll have to endure. Surrounding yourself with positive, like-minded people is what God wants for you.
Don't be such a brat on your trip to England over the summer just because you had to leave a boy behind. This is a once in a lifetime trip, and with that attitude you'll miss out of the beautiful scenery and learning about history. You'll one day so badly wish you could go back with a better attitude and enjoy the trip to the fullest. The boy will be there when you get back, I promise!
Breaking your foot your senior year of volleyball season isn't the end of the world, but yes, it's gonna stink!! Enjoy being part of the team anyway, you'll miss the camaraderie that a sports team brings.
Don't quit Jubilation (youth church choir). You'll miss being with your friends and wish you hadn't quit. You'll be jealous of the fun they have on their summer trips and be mad at yourself knowing you could have been there with them too.
Pick up a book and read more often. You'll love reading when you're older but won't have the time to as much as you'd like, so learn to enjoy it now!
Don't be scared of change; starting a new school in 11th grade will be one of the best decisions, even though a hard one! You'll make better friends and meet your future husband. This decision will give you the encouragement, support and confidence to get through the loss of your father. You'll have more opportunities to play sports and be involved the way you wish you could have been at your previous school, and the teachers will actually care about your loss and be sensitive to it.
Don't get that perm in 12th grade. Enough said.
Go with your mom more often to visit your Grandma. You won't get to say goodbye because you'll be out of state dealing with another loss when she gets sick and passes away. So, enjoy the monotoney of watching Jeopardy, Wheel-of Fortune and Murder She Wrote with her, even if there are other things you'd rather be doing, you'll miss the simplicity of her visits and the company of her sweet demeanor.
Cut the attitude because you know how your mom says "One day you'll have a girl JUST like you"
???
Well it's true. Maybe you can prevent having to deal with her attitude if you can learn to loose yours now ;) Hey it's worth the shot, TRUST me!!
Sincerely,
Your future/wiser self
Once I got writing, I could have included a TON more! Most of which though, I wouldn't want to share publicly. But, I'm sure we can all relate. What if you wrote a letter to yourself? What do you wish you knew then that you know now? I'm sure 10-20 years from now I'll have more advice for myself. With that, I'm saying good-bye; going to turn off the tv and spend some time with my kids; as I'm sure that will be at the top of my list in 20 years, man they grow so fast!
If you write a letter to yourself, would you mind sharing? I'd love to read it!
~Susan
Thursday, March 13, 2014
14 Years Feels Like A Lifetime
14 years.
Wait, what?!?
Has it really been 14 years since that heart-stopping, gut-turning, life-altering phone call came through? Has it really been 14 years since I was just a naive 10th grader without a clue of what true pain meant; until this stormy Monday night? I was only 16. My world had consisted of what my weekend plans were going to be, if my looser-of-a-boyfriend was ever going to call me back, what the note from my friend passed between science and study hall said, where I could park at school so no one would see me exiting out of the passenger side of the truck because my door handle from the inside wouldn't work. No, no I had no idea what it meant to have big-girl problems. But Monday, March 13th I grew up; a lot, and quickly.
We had driven to the hospital not knowing the worst was yet to come. My mom and I were still hopeful. Praying and pleading that my dad would be ok when we got there. Unfortunately we were put into one of those tiny rooms that no one wants to ever set foot in. The room that's just big enough for immediate family. The room with walls so bare all you can do is look at the ground or the ceiling and you don't dare look at each other because if you do, you will see it. You will see in each others eyes what the other is thinking, and that it will confirm that you are thinking the same thing. Then it happened. The heartless nurse waltzed in and announced exactly what we were praying and pleading we wouldn't have to hear.
All I could think and say was "He's in Heaven now. He's in Heaven now. He's in Heaven now. He's in Heaven now." And then I sat in the hall of the hospital and bawled my eyeballs out.
Where do you go from there? Sometimes it seems so surreal that I went thru such tragic loss. And sometimes it feels like yesterday. It's amazing the details you remember when you go through something like that, but yet the memory of what everyday life around him was like has faded. His voice is fading, his laugh is fading. Yet some memories are so real I can close my eyes and almost be in that moment with him. At the house he grew up in on West Virginia soil- making colby-jack toasted bread in the toaster oven and walking out to the pond listening to old mountaineer stories. Sitting out on the front porch and watching the trains go by, heading into "town" for dinner at one of the only two restaurants. Helping with the family reunions that he so dearly loved, being so proud to watch him stand up and talk about family like there was nothing else in the world. Being handed a roll of quarters to play games in the arcade at the reunion resort and being told not to spend it all at once. Having him ask me "Hey wanna go for a ride?"(in his truck) and somehow always ending up at the Steak and Shake drive-thru for a strawberry milkshake, and having him offer a nickel for my thoughts on the way home. Going to school late at night with him to prep the donuts and orange juice to sell in the morning. And probably one of my favorites; going to his office to eat lunch with him (or to use his TV when he was out ;) and finding notes from him in my lunch that I had left in his fridge.
There are more memories; specific ones like above. But honestly the everyday memory is gone. And that's ok. We are human. We are not made to remember everything. Life goes on and we make new memories, but we hold fast to those big ones, specific ones that never escape our mind bank. As I was saying to my friend recently, just because their memory fades, doesn't mean we love them any less. It doesn't mean we miss them any less. I miss my dad just as much now as I did that dark and stormy Monday-night-before-pi-day (as a math teacher, it was one of his favorite day's at school).
I hate that I can't imagine what it would be like to have him here right this second. To sit on the couch with me and tell me it's going to be ok. I don't know what it would be like to see him interact with my children, other then the fact I know there would be a lot of giggling going on! But dwelling on that too long doesn't do any one any good. I've learned to be thankful to having even known him and the joy he brought to others. Just because I don't spend everyday of my life sad and angry doesn't mean I don't love him or miss him any less then I already do. It's just that I've decided to choose the other path. The one where I know he's in Heaven. I know he's praising God, and what better place to be?!? My humanly desire is to have him here with me and my family, with my children and one day their children, but my soul is thankful that he knew and believed in the One who is mighty to save! Thankful that one day we will meet again. I know it's easy for people to use this whole idea as a "way out" of their sadness, but I truly believe it. I can still hear his deep voice singing "It Is Well With My Soul". What an amazing song and story; Horatio Spafford wrote it while passing over the same spot where his four daughters died in a voyage to Europe. He had also lost two 4 year old sons (at different times in life) to scarlet fever. If he can get through that, then I can get through my past trials and help my friends through their current one.
14 years feels like a lifetime; and technically it is. There's my life before I lost my dad, and my life after. I've now lived more then half my life without him. But life must go on. We can't daily grieve for the lost because we still have the living. I still need to be a wife, mother, daughter, sister and friend.
Thank you dad for your humor, your compassion and your love. You are greatly missed, everyday.
Please hug on David for me, say hi to Zeke for me, and please make sure to meet sweet Jubilee. Her big eyes will make you melt!
Love your daughter,
Susan
Wait, what?!?
Has it really been 14 years since that heart-stopping, gut-turning, life-altering phone call came through? Has it really been 14 years since I was just a naive 10th grader without a clue of what true pain meant; until this stormy Monday night? I was only 16. My world had consisted of what my weekend plans were going to be, if my looser-of-a-boyfriend was ever going to call me back, what the note from my friend passed between science and study hall said, where I could park at school so no one would see me exiting out of the passenger side of the truck because my door handle from the inside wouldn't work. No, no I had no idea what it meant to have big-girl problems. But Monday, March 13th I grew up; a lot, and quickly.
We had driven to the hospital not knowing the worst was yet to come. My mom and I were still hopeful. Praying and pleading that my dad would be ok when we got there. Unfortunately we were put into one of those tiny rooms that no one wants to ever set foot in. The room that's just big enough for immediate family. The room with walls so bare all you can do is look at the ground or the ceiling and you don't dare look at each other because if you do, you will see it. You will see in each others eyes what the other is thinking, and that it will confirm that you are thinking the same thing. Then it happened. The heartless nurse waltzed in and announced exactly what we were praying and pleading we wouldn't have to hear.
All I could think and say was "He's in Heaven now. He's in Heaven now. He's in Heaven now. He's in Heaven now." And then I sat in the hall of the hospital and bawled my eyeballs out.
Where do you go from there? Sometimes it seems so surreal that I went thru such tragic loss. And sometimes it feels like yesterday. It's amazing the details you remember when you go through something like that, but yet the memory of what everyday life around him was like has faded. His voice is fading, his laugh is fading. Yet some memories are so real I can close my eyes and almost be in that moment with him. At the house he grew up in on West Virginia soil- making colby-jack toasted bread in the toaster oven and walking out to the pond listening to old mountaineer stories. Sitting out on the front porch and watching the trains go by, heading into "town" for dinner at one of the only two restaurants. Helping with the family reunions that he so dearly loved, being so proud to watch him stand up and talk about family like there was nothing else in the world. Being handed a roll of quarters to play games in the arcade at the reunion resort and being told not to spend it all at once. Having him ask me "Hey wanna go for a ride?"(in his truck) and somehow always ending up at the Steak and Shake drive-thru for a strawberry milkshake, and having him offer a nickel for my thoughts on the way home. Going to school late at night with him to prep the donuts and orange juice to sell in the morning. And probably one of my favorites; going to his office to eat lunch with him (or to use his TV when he was out ;) and finding notes from him in my lunch that I had left in his fridge.
There are more memories; specific ones like above. But honestly the everyday memory is gone. And that's ok. We are human. We are not made to remember everything. Life goes on and we make new memories, but we hold fast to those big ones, specific ones that never escape our mind bank. As I was saying to my friend recently, just because their memory fades, doesn't mean we love them any less. It doesn't mean we miss them any less. I miss my dad just as much now as I did that dark and stormy Monday-night-before-pi-day (as a math teacher, it was one of his favorite day's at school).
I hate that I can't imagine what it would be like to have him here right this second. To sit on the couch with me and tell me it's going to be ok. I don't know what it would be like to see him interact with my children, other then the fact I know there would be a lot of giggling going on! But dwelling on that too long doesn't do any one any good. I've learned to be thankful to having even known him and the joy he brought to others. Just because I don't spend everyday of my life sad and angry doesn't mean I don't love him or miss him any less then I already do. It's just that I've decided to choose the other path. The one where I know he's in Heaven. I know he's praising God, and what better place to be?!? My humanly desire is to have him here with me and my family, with my children and one day their children, but my soul is thankful that he knew and believed in the One who is mighty to save! Thankful that one day we will meet again. I know it's easy for people to use this whole idea as a "way out" of their sadness, but I truly believe it. I can still hear his deep voice singing "It Is Well With My Soul". What an amazing song and story; Horatio Spafford wrote it while passing over the same spot where his four daughters died in a voyage to Europe. He had also lost two 4 year old sons (at different times in life) to scarlet fever. If he can get through that, then I can get through my past trials and help my friends through their current one.
14 years feels like a lifetime; and technically it is. There's my life before I lost my dad, and my life after. I've now lived more then half my life without him. But life must go on. We can't daily grieve for the lost because we still have the living. I still need to be a wife, mother, daughter, sister and friend.
Thank you dad for your humor, your compassion and your love. You are greatly missed, everyday.
Please hug on David for me, say hi to Zeke for me, and please make sure to meet sweet Jubilee. Her big eyes will make you melt!
Love your daughter,
Susan
Tuesday, March 4, 2014
Jubilee Hope - Couldn't Be A More Perfect Name
No doubt this weekend has been a first for us. It has brought us
closer (in our marriage and also in our walk with Christ) in ways I cannot
describe. To see your best friends go through the unimaginable will bring you
back to reality and what's important in life quicker then the crack of a
lightning bolt.
It's been an amazing and eye opening experience to be alongside our
friends as their 3-month-old daughter fought the good fight. No parent should
have to bury their child, especially at such a young and fragile age. No parent
should endure multiple 911 calls, ambulance rides, CPR sessions and flat lining
with their infant. But alas, my friends did. They have endured the pain of
their daughter's disorder day in and day out for the last 6 weeks. Everyday started
with the question if this would be her last. Everyday they prayed for her,
loved on her, talked to her, smiled at her, sang to her, kissed on her and told
her in more ways then just their voice that they loved her more then words
could describe. There is no doubt she knew God's love for her through her
parent's actions. There is no doubt that Jesus has used her story to bring
people all over the country (even us) closer to Christ. There is no doubt that
this baby girl was born with greater purpose then we could ever imagine and
will ever understand.
This weekend we were blessed to be with our friends across the
country as they celebrated the short but highly impactful life of their
3-month-old daughter.
I distinctly remember the day they told us they were expecting their
third child. We were hanging out on the court after class at the gym. So giddy
and excited to share the good news we were smiling from ear to ear knowing they
had wanted this child so badly. But your life can change in the blink of an
eye. Having no idea they were both carriers of a genetic disorder, the news of
their daughter’s future was devastating.
But the story doesn't end there. There are many ways they could have
reacted; there are many ways they could have handled their new lifestyle. After
the initial shock and mental/emotional processing, they decided to give their
child joy. Instead of being bitter, upset, angry and revengeful, they chose to
spend their limited days thanking God for her and the opportunity to spend as
much time with their daughter as possible.
Our friends have inspired us, and many others, in ways that can only
come from God. We are so thankful to call them friends. It's amazing to see
God's plan unfold in areas you would least expect it. He knew exactly what He
was doing when we chose to live much further from the base then any of the
friends we already had at our new location; He knew Kristen and Nate would be
there. He knew Kristen and I would meet at a spouses’ function and hit it off
as friends right away. He knew our families would become close as we went
camping and riding over the summers together. And He knew they would be
enduring what every parent shouldn't, and that Gabriel and I would be there
every step of the way for them.
These last 6 weeks I have constantly been wishing I could take their
pain from them; that I could even take their place for them. Not that I want to
loose a child, but that I want to not see them suffer. Oh, what I would do to
ease their pain. But this is God's plan, and thankfully they have embraced that
truth and have been able to get through it with what only God's love and
comfort can do. To watch our friends endure the pain that God did as His Son
was crucified on the cross, is indescribable. But that's also exactly what
makes it so amazing, that we are reminded that God has gone through this
suffering as well. That He understands their pain and that He is here to
comfort them and guide them along the way.
Thank you Jesus for working in my friends' life. Thank You for
loving them in ways they might not even see or completely understand. Thank You
for allowing us to be with them this weekend and be able to witness what an
impact they and their daughter have had on their community. Thank You for
giving them the strength and courage to get through this and to tell others,
especially their daughters that You are the reason they can hold their head
high and continue on. Thank You for dying on the cross so Jubilee could go to
Heaven and be with You for eternity. Thank You for giving our friends the
understanding that she is no longer suffering but is forever praising Your
name, and that one day they will be able to join with her in the heavenly
chorus!
Now go and hug your loved ones tight and tell them you love them, because believe me, you never know when your last chance to do so will be!
"Christ alone, cornerstone.
Weak make strong in the Savior's love.
Through the storm, He is Lord, Lord of all!"
Through the storm, He is Lord, Lord of all!"
Friday, April 5, 2013
Scaling It Back
I've been thinking a lot lately about how I am spending my time; and honestly I am not happy with the answer. I am wasting precious moments I could be spending engaged with my kids in a craft, a project, a recipe, a game, a book, a Bible verse or story or helping with homework. I could be investing this time in their interests and ultimately their futures.
I love technology and think it's amazing that we can keep in touch with people at any second of the day and in so many different ways; but this can be dangerous. Mom's (and Dad's), I'm sure you can relate to this: how many times have your kids said your name and you don't even look up but automatically say "just a second" because you are too intent on checking Facebook on your phone? Or they ask you for help on their homework and you say "hold on" because you are texting someone the details of your day? When did keeping informed about the outside world every-other-breathing-second become more important then being there for our kids when they so desperately need our attention (especially at such a young age)? Our kids pick up and learn from every one of our actions.
So, what is it that you want to be teaching your children? What do you want to input into their hearts and minds that will eventually come out in their actions as they grow up? For me, I want my kids to know how important family is; and I think they already do (thankfully). I want them to know they are much more important then when my phone is dinging. I want them to know that I want to spend time with them. I want them to learn that investing in others and leading people to Christ is much more important then how popular you are. I want them to know that real relationships take time and energy; that they are hard yet so rewarding.
So how do we implement these values into our children's everyday lives? We evaluate where we as parents are struggling, failing or maybe even drowning. We pinpoint what we can scale back or maybe even get rid of all together. It's different for everyone. Some might spend too much time on Facebook, texting, emailing (or their phone's in general) a game they are trying to beat, a set of books they can't put down, slaving themselves at the gym for that perfect body, putting in overtime at work to get to the top instead of going home and having dinner with your family, investing more time in growing your business then spending time with your kids on the weekends, putting all your extra time and energy towards that personal record, that really in the end, is just a title. Any area in your life that exceeds time spent with God or with your family, could use some cutting back.
With all this said; I've decided to deactivate my Facebook account and also scale back on my photography marketing. Obviously, Facebook just takes up time-too much of it. Photography on the other hand is exhausting. Starting a business in a new area is going to take time; that's a given. But when marketing and worrying about branding, trying to find new client's and always searching for new ideas becomes more of a focus then spending those after-school hours with my kids, then it's a problem. I'm not saying I'm straight up ignoring my children, not feeding them or changing diapers, but there are definitely times where I am on the computer working on photography related things when I could instead just shut the laptop, hang out with the kids and let the business worry for itself. I am not completely shutting down the business. I still want to gain new clients, learn more about my camera, and keep the business growing, but I am going to scale it back a bit. I'm not going to waste time worrying about when my next client will come along, or how I can gain new "likes" on my page. I'm not going to constantly be trying to come up with ideas or ways to "get my name out there". There are enough people now that know I have a business, and can pass along the word for me. I am still going to keep my photography business page and remain active on it; but I'm not going to worry about my admin stats and post a photo to my page "just because it's been a few days". I want to spend all this extra time investing in my children who are our future. I want them to be secure in the fact that they are more important then any job title I hold, or any comment I receive on Facebook.
I don't know if you are struggling with this as well, and if you are then I encourage you to take a look at what you are spending most of your time on. If you find that more time is spent on a certain area of your life then with your children/family, then you need to ask yourself how you can cut back to make more room and time for the more important things. After all, your children are our future. What we teach them today will affect how they react tomorrow (or years from now). All these other things that seem important now, really aren't. We can't take our phones with us when we die, we can't have a Facebook account in Heaven, we aren't going to be worried about having the biggest most booming business when we are dead, and being popular won't even exist because our eyes will be fixed upon Jesus. But, our children's actions and relationships will live on after we are gone. So spend time focusing on them and what/who God wants them to become. After all, this is our greatest calling as a parent.
*On a side note; I am not saying it's bad to a Facebook account or to have a business and a family. If you can balance both, then more power to ya! I however have lots of time in the future (God willing) to spend on this business, so for right now, I am putting more focus on my kids (and future kids as we are trying to adopt:)
Like I said, I am not closing up shop. I am still booking sessions and working on growing as a photographer, I am just scaling back the time I spend on the business and putting forth more time towards my children.
If you want/need to get a hold of me, my email is suzychapstick1@gmail.com. You can email me and I can send you my phone number as well, I also LOVE to get snail mail :) I'll also be keeping up with my blog; so be sure to "follow" it, and you can also follow on Instagram; username: suzychapstick1
~Susan
I love technology and think it's amazing that we can keep in touch with people at any second of the day and in so many different ways; but this can be dangerous. Mom's (and Dad's), I'm sure you can relate to this: how many times have your kids said your name and you don't even look up but automatically say "just a second" because you are too intent on checking Facebook on your phone? Or they ask you for help on their homework and you say "hold on" because you are texting someone the details of your day? When did keeping informed about the outside world every-other-breathing-second become more important then being there for our kids when they so desperately need our attention (especially at such a young age)? Our kids pick up and learn from every one of our actions.
So, what is it that you want to be teaching your children? What do you want to input into their hearts and minds that will eventually come out in their actions as they grow up? For me, I want my kids to know how important family is; and I think they already do (thankfully). I want them to know they are much more important then when my phone is dinging. I want them to know that I want to spend time with them. I want them to learn that investing in others and leading people to Christ is much more important then how popular you are. I want them to know that real relationships take time and energy; that they are hard yet so rewarding.
So how do we implement these values into our children's everyday lives? We evaluate where we as parents are struggling, failing or maybe even drowning. We pinpoint what we can scale back or maybe even get rid of all together. It's different for everyone. Some might spend too much time on Facebook, texting, emailing (or their phone's in general) a game they are trying to beat, a set of books they can't put down, slaving themselves at the gym for that perfect body, putting in overtime at work to get to the top instead of going home and having dinner with your family, investing more time in growing your business then spending time with your kids on the weekends, putting all your extra time and energy towards that personal record, that really in the end, is just a title. Any area in your life that exceeds time spent with God or with your family, could use some cutting back.
With all this said; I've decided to deactivate my Facebook account and also scale back on my photography marketing. Obviously, Facebook just takes up time-too much of it. Photography on the other hand is exhausting. Starting a business in a new area is going to take time; that's a given. But when marketing and worrying about branding, trying to find new client's and always searching for new ideas becomes more of a focus then spending those after-school hours with my kids, then it's a problem. I'm not saying I'm straight up ignoring my children, not feeding them or changing diapers, but there are definitely times where I am on the computer working on photography related things when I could instead just shut the laptop, hang out with the kids and let the business worry for itself. I am not completely shutting down the business. I still want to gain new clients, learn more about my camera, and keep the business growing, but I am going to scale it back a bit. I'm not going to waste time worrying about when my next client will come along, or how I can gain new "likes" on my page. I'm not going to constantly be trying to come up with ideas or ways to "get my name out there". There are enough people now that know I have a business, and can pass along the word for me. I am still going to keep my photography business page and remain active on it; but I'm not going to worry about my admin stats and post a photo to my page "just because it's been a few days". I want to spend all this extra time investing in my children who are our future. I want them to be secure in the fact that they are more important then any job title I hold, or any comment I receive on Facebook.
I don't know if you are struggling with this as well, and if you are then I encourage you to take a look at what you are spending most of your time on. If you find that more time is spent on a certain area of your life then with your children/family, then you need to ask yourself how you can cut back to make more room and time for the more important things. After all, your children are our future. What we teach them today will affect how they react tomorrow (or years from now). All these other things that seem important now, really aren't. We can't take our phones with us when we die, we can't have a Facebook account in Heaven, we aren't going to be worried about having the biggest most booming business when we are dead, and being popular won't even exist because our eyes will be fixed upon Jesus. But, our children's actions and relationships will live on after we are gone. So spend time focusing on them and what/who God wants them to become. After all, this is our greatest calling as a parent.
*On a side note; I am not saying it's bad to a Facebook account or to have a business and a family. If you can balance both, then more power to ya! I however have lots of time in the future (God willing) to spend on this business, so for right now, I am putting more focus on my kids (and future kids as we are trying to adopt:)
Like I said, I am not closing up shop. I am still booking sessions and working on growing as a photographer, I am just scaling back the time I spend on the business and putting forth more time towards my children.
If you want/need to get a hold of me, my email is suzychapstick1@gmail.com. You can email me and I can send you my phone number as well, I also LOVE to get snail mail :) I'll also be keeping up with my blog; so be sure to "follow" it, and you can also follow on Instagram; username: suzychapstick1
~Susan
Thursday, February 28, 2013
Autobiography
As I'm starting to fill out the paperwork for the home study, one of the biggest documents is the autobiography. 12 pages of questions about yourself; from where were you born, to how did you and your spouse meet, to what are your motivations for adopting, to how do you resolve conflicts with your children? As you move further along in the questionnaire the questions get "harder" and more personal. I'm only on page 1 question 4 and I'm already stumbling.
"Are your parents still living? If not, how old were you when they died?"
My answer: "My dad was killed in a motorcycle accident when I was sixteen years old."
This fact is not new to me; obviously. But, the fact that I have to physically write that down, makes me realize how hard it is that my dad is not here to see us take on such an exciting, challenging yet rewarding process. Gabriel and I are in fact taking on the same calling my parents did when they welcomed me and my brothers into their home. If it weren't for my dad coming home one day saying "Well, lets put down boy OR girl on the paperwork", I might not have ever had the privilege to become his daughter. They were planning on adopting another son, but something special happened that day, he was able to help a little lost girl find her mother, and because of that, his heart and mind was changed.
Thank you Lord for sending that little girl into his life at that exact moment. Thank you for allowing him to help her out and to place that possible desire for a daughter on his heart. Thank you Lord for my father and the amazing man he was for my family, all his students and the community. Even though he can't be here today to love on his grandchildren, I thank you Lord for placing him in my life and for all the wonderful memories that no matter what, can't be taken away from me.
~Susan
"Are your parents still living? If not, how old were you when they died?"
My answer: "My dad was killed in a motorcycle accident when I was sixteen years old."
This fact is not new to me; obviously. But, the fact that I have to physically write that down, makes me realize how hard it is that my dad is not here to see us take on such an exciting, challenging yet rewarding process. Gabriel and I are in fact taking on the same calling my parents did when they welcomed me and my brothers into their home. If it weren't for my dad coming home one day saying "Well, lets put down boy OR girl on the paperwork", I might not have ever had the privilege to become his daughter. They were planning on adopting another son, but something special happened that day, he was able to help a little lost girl find her mother, and because of that, his heart and mind was changed.
Thank you Lord for sending that little girl into his life at that exact moment. Thank you for allowing him to help her out and to place that possible desire for a daughter on his heart. Thank you Lord for my father and the amazing man he was for my family, all his students and the community. Even though he can't be here today to love on his grandchildren, I thank you Lord for placing him in my life and for all the wonderful memories that no matter what, can't be taken away from me.
~Susan
Monday, February 4, 2013
Yesterday At Church
Yesterday was an emotional day at church, and let's admit it, sometimes it just is.
Looking over and seeing/hearing my sweet 7 year old daughter sing "How Great Is Our God" was definitely a happy moment for this parent. :)
Then the pastor spoke about some loses we have recently experienced in our church. He explained as a reminder to the congregation that through Jesus' death, our death is not the end of the road. His death replaced ours, He accomplished His death so that we wouldn't have to experience death to the fullest. Yes, we leave our physical bodies, which are not perfect anyway. We have pain, hardships, we get our feelings hurt, we struggle with thoughts of inadequacy/self doubt, we feel lonely, we suffer from loosing those closest to us; we have physical pain from childbirth, accidents, sicknesses, or just growing older. But, because of the death that Christ suffered for us, we don't have to be scared or sad about our deaths. We get to leave all of these pains and troubles behind....
After communion we sang the song "It Is Well." I leaned over and whispered to my husband, "I can hear my Dad singing this." Even though it's been 12 years, I can still hear his deep voice belting out his favorite songs at church. Then the tears came. Christ suffered his death for MY dad. He encountered the worst death possible so MY dad could spend eternity with Him. What an awesome God we serve. Even when it's not always easy to see "why"something as happened, we have to step back and remember God knows the bigger picture and the ultimate plan is authored by Him. He suffered and died for MY father, MY brother, MY brother-in-law, MY friend's husband, MY friend's mother, MY friend's father...who in your life has He died for? The answer is clear and the answer is true, Christ died for everyone...He died for me and for YOU!
~Susan
You liked that rhyming sentence at the end, didn't you? :)
Looking over and seeing/hearing my sweet 7 year old daughter sing "How Great Is Our God" was definitely a happy moment for this parent. :)
Then the pastor spoke about some loses we have recently experienced in our church. He explained as a reminder to the congregation that through Jesus' death, our death is not the end of the road. His death replaced ours, He accomplished His death so that we wouldn't have to experience death to the fullest. Yes, we leave our physical bodies, which are not perfect anyway. We have pain, hardships, we get our feelings hurt, we struggle with thoughts of inadequacy/self doubt, we feel lonely, we suffer from loosing those closest to us; we have physical pain from childbirth, accidents, sicknesses, or just growing older. But, because of the death that Christ suffered for us, we don't have to be scared or sad about our deaths. We get to leave all of these pains and troubles behind....
After communion we sang the song "It Is Well." I leaned over and whispered to my husband, "I can hear my Dad singing this." Even though it's been 12 years, I can still hear his deep voice belting out his favorite songs at church. Then the tears came. Christ suffered his death for MY dad. He encountered the worst death possible so MY dad could spend eternity with Him. What an awesome God we serve. Even when it's not always easy to see "why"something as happened, we have to step back and remember God knows the bigger picture and the ultimate plan is authored by Him. He suffered and died for MY father, MY brother, MY brother-in-law, MY friend's husband, MY friend's mother, MY friend's father...who in your life has He died for? The answer is clear and the answer is true, Christ died for everyone...He died for me and for YOU!
~Susan
You liked that rhyming sentence at the end, didn't you? :)
Saturday, January 26, 2013
Friend: A person who _____?
Friend:
n.
1. A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts.
2. A person whom one knows; an acquaintance.
3. A person with whom one is allied in a struggle or cause; a comrade.
4. One who supports, sympathizes with, or patronizes a group, cause, or movement
One of the neat things about being a military wife is all the many (different kind of) friends you make along your journey of moving here and there and everywhere across the globe. It's scary at first moving somewhere new. Most of the time you do it all on your own, without family and friends to hold your hand as your jump into a new town (or state or country!), a new schedule, new schools, new jobs, new church, new people and really just a whole new life. For the first few months you are unpacking boxes, organizing your house, figuring out schedules and where to go for this and that, learning the new street names and where the best place to get a cup of coffee is, because honestly, a good cup of coffee is a major priority if you want to keep your sanity. Then once shop is set up and a few months go by and you settle into your routine and you feel like you finally have a hold on this new life, you realize, you are in desperate need of a friend. And the whole cycle of making new friends starts all over again. Sure, you've done it once, or twice, or like me, 7 times, but it never gets any easier.
The thing about friends is that the word really is a broad spectrum as far as how close you are to someone and how well you really know them. You can have just met someone a week ago, ran into them twice and from there on out start referring to them as your friend. Or, you can have known someone your whole life, know all their secrets; the good, the bad, the ugly about them and call them a friend too. This is what I love about friends.
With all the moves we have hurdled over and successfully accomplished, I have found that God has brought to me a specific friend or a couple friends that met my very needs at that time. It can become really lonely as a military wife when your husband is gone and you still have all the duties of taking care of the kids, the house, the cars, etc, and then you are also picking up the slack and are responsible for all that he is when he is home. Life goes on when they are gone. It doesn't come to a complete halt. Diapers still need to be changed, the bills still need to be paid, the dishes still have to be done, the kids still have to get up for school and so on. This is where the importance of a friend comes in. One thing the military life has taught me is to put yourself out there and make friends! It's really hard and awkward at first, but we need all sorts of friends in this time of our life to meet our different needs. When it comes to needing help, or someone you can vent to; you may have one or two friends, or you may have twenty. Take a moment and think about these friends. What would life be like without them? How would you cope with certain situations? Who would you talk to, lean on or ask for help?
What's awesome about the military is having friends (literally) all over the world. Yes, I have many friends, some closer then others, some who know things about me that others don't, some who have been through certain situations with me that others might not even know about, some who would get that inside joke and some who wouldn't. But what's really cool about the word friend, is that because of such a broad definition of the word, I get to call a lot of people "friend". I'm so thankful for all my friends. They have all helped shape me into the person I am today. I have memories of each one that I get to cherish forever, or continue making memories with right now. I get to call each and every one of them a friend for a different reason.
Sure, being in the military is hard, it's emotional, it's stressful, it's painful, but all of these awesome people in my life I get to call a friend make it worth it! Friends are an amazing gift. I know I am very thankful for the people that God has brought into my life.
So, how would you describe a friend? Or, better yet, how would YOU like to be described AS a friend???
Goodnight,
Susan
Sunday, September 23, 2012
Southwest OK Newborn Photographer | We Are Family
Yesterday we decided to do something totally different; "Let's go try and take family pictures of ourselves!" I raided our closets and tried to pick out a coordinating wardrobe, which was actually pretty fun! Little did I know it was going to be THAT difficult to get everyone looking at the camera, let alone smiling! Of course every time someone would move it would throw the camera off focus. So, after setting up the self timer and having it snap a ton of pictures in a row...I think we got a few worthy of posting photos....
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| This is our Spiderman web slinger pose :) |
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| Don't smile- let's do a "model" pose! haha! |
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| My Love |
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| I love how we got the light from the sunset! |
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| Finally everyone smiling! |
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| Our pride and joy!
It was fun, but exhausting trying to get 3 kids to cooperate, especially the stubborn 2 year old...wonder where he gets that from?!? :)
~Susan
Susan
Wetlesen Photography specializes in newborn,
birth, family and lifestyle photography
in Southwest Oklahoma and surrounding areas including but not limited
to Lawton, Wichita Falls and Altus.
|
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
My Instagram Mother's Day
I love Instagram . It's a really neat app for your phone that allows you to snap a photo and then you can instantly change the feel of the picture by selecting a different filter (like a preset or an action), then you can upload it and share with family and friends. I only use Instagram here and there, and often forget I have it on my phone. Well, for Mother's Day, I thought it would be fun to take pictures throughout the day using this app and post what I came up with. We had a fun day that included church, Arby's, the zoo, the play zone on base, Subway and a long drive home. The kids had a great time, and it was so nice to have my mom here for Mother's Day too.
What a great day! I hope you take advantage of Instagram too and have fun with your photos! To my fellow mommies out there, I pray you had a wonderful weekend filled with lots of love, hugs and kisses and appreciation; because there is no other job in the world like being a MOM! :)
What a great day! I hope you take advantage of Instagram too and have fun with your photos! To my fellow mommies out there, I pray you had a wonderful weekend filled with lots of love, hugs and kisses and appreciation; because there is no other job in the world like being a MOM! :)
Saturday, May 12, 2012
7 down, 1 to go!
So, I don't really have a photo for this post, and it has nothing to do with photography. But, it's a big deal {to me} so I thought I'd write about it.
My husband has been gone {for training} for 7 weeks now, and will be coming home in 1 short week! Some days it seems like it has gone by fast and other days it feels like he has been gone for forever. It's always hard to be away from each other for an extended amount of time; especially with 3 kids, a dog and a house to take care of, but these breaks from our normal-every-day-married-life are what I feel makes our marriage stronger. We get to experience that excitement of seeing each other, those butterflies when we embrace for the first time in months, and that silly grin I can't get off my face when I'm on the way to pick him up. It's also really neat watching the excitement on our children's faces when they get to see daddy for the first time in what seems like forever to them.
Other exciting news...during these last months I have been participating in a "Biggest Looser" challenge on Facebook with some friends, and with all the hard work and dedication I won first place! It was my first time participating, so I was pretty hard on myself to do my best. I can't exactly say how much I've lost; my husband knows I was doing the contest, but I haven't told him how many pounds I shed, let's just say it's in the double digits.
My friend and I are planning on going shopping this week...good thing because my clothes are now too big, AND hubby and I are going to HAWAII when he gets back! The sun, the sand, the warmth, my man....I can't wait! We are luckily able to go without the kids since my mom is here visiting and very graciously will be watching them for us. I guess this will be a {year and a half} early 10 year anniversary get away :)
Well, so much excitement going on here lately, I just had to share....
I have had a few photo shoots lately and am coming up with some fun ideas in the area of prints and products I {will} offer.
Hope you all have a wonderful weekend and HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!
~Susan
My husband has been gone {for training} for 7 weeks now, and will be coming home in 1 short week! Some days it seems like it has gone by fast and other days it feels like he has been gone for forever. It's always hard to be away from each other for an extended amount of time; especially with 3 kids, a dog and a house to take care of, but these breaks from our normal-every-day-married-life are what I feel makes our marriage stronger. We get to experience that excitement of seeing each other, those butterflies when we embrace for the first time in months, and that silly grin I can't get off my face when I'm on the way to pick him up. It's also really neat watching the excitement on our children's faces when they get to see daddy for the first time in what seems like forever to them.
Other exciting news...during these last months I have been participating in a "Biggest Looser" challenge on Facebook with some friends, and with all the hard work and dedication I won first place! It was my first time participating, so I was pretty hard on myself to do my best. I can't exactly say how much I've lost; my husband knows I was doing the contest, but I haven't told him how many pounds I shed, let's just say it's in the double digits.
My friend and I are planning on going shopping this week...good thing because my clothes are now too big, AND hubby and I are going to HAWAII when he gets back! The sun, the sand, the warmth, my man....I can't wait! We are luckily able to go without the kids since my mom is here visiting and very graciously will be watching them for us. I guess this will be a {year and a half} early 10 year anniversary get away :)
Well, so much excitement going on here lately, I just had to share....
I have had a few photo shoots lately and am coming up with some fun ideas in the area of prints and products I {will} offer.
Hope you all have a wonderful weekend and HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!
~Susan
Saturday, February 4, 2012
Girls Just Wanna Have Fun
Last night my daughter had her "best friend" over for a sleepover. They are like two peas in a pod and really get along great! I'm so happy to see her have a close friend so soon after moving here. Being an Air Force family and moving every 3 or so years makes it hard to make good friends. Thankfully these two met in class and hit it off quick! It's crazy to see my little girl growing up so fast!
So, the fun night started off when I picked them up from school and we got steamers (warm milk with a shot of flavor and whipped cream) on the way home. They quickly discovered the goodie bags I made up for them with lots of fun girly stuff inside (lip gloss, color changing nail polish, candy, glow sticks, notebooks, pens, fizzy bath hearts, stickers etc...). I had written down a list of ideas on the white board to help avoid that saying "we're bored!", and it worked! They made a fort, painted each other's nails (so cute), played upstairs, ate chocolate chip cookie dough (I mean, made cookies:), had a tea party, ate pizza, played the wii. Unfortunately, her friend didn't last all night over here, but irregardless they had a blast together. C was understanding and is already talking about next time:)
So, the fun night started off when I picked them up from school and we got steamers (warm milk with a shot of flavor and whipped cream) on the way home. They quickly discovered the goodie bags I made up for them with lots of fun girly stuff inside (lip gloss, color changing nail polish, candy, glow sticks, notebooks, pens, fizzy bath hearts, stickers etc...). I had written down a list of ideas on the white board to help avoid that saying "we're bored!", and it worked! They made a fort, painted each other's nails (so cute), played upstairs, ate chocolate chip cookie dough (I mean, made cookies:), had a tea party, ate pizza, played the wii. Unfortunately, her friend didn't last all night over here, but irregardless they had a blast together. C was understanding and is already talking about next time:)
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