Do you listen to country music? If so, you've probably heard that Brad Paisley song; "If I Could Write A Letter To Me". It's basically a song about how if he could, he would go back in time and tell himself not to worry over simple things that seemed to be such a major crises to him in his high school days. We all know what that's like. Middle school/high school probably got the best of us. We thought we had SO much responsibility and so many worries when in fact, we really had no clue what was to come.
So, in trying to come up with something to write about, this song came on. It made me think, what a great blog post this would be! Make your own version of the song! Of course, mine won't be all
rhyme-y and cute, but it will be REAL. So here it goes:
Oh Suzy-Q,
High school days are fun, but they aren't the end all, so I'm here to let you in on a few secrets:
Spend more time with your dad. You won't have much longer with him. Laugh more at his corny jokes as they will become important to you later on. Don't be intimidated by him, he's a bigger softie then you think. Tell him you love him more, and when he offers for you to do something with him, whatever it may be, take him up on that offer. The more memories you can make with him, the better. Know that loosing him will be the hardest time in your life up until now, but it will prepare you for dealing with future losses.
Stop chasing that boy who claims to love you but won't even return your phone calls, he really only cares about himself. Listen to what other people say about him and take it into consideration. Don't let him back in your life when your dad dies, he's just trying to take advantage of the situation! Take off your blinds and and be patient, someone better will be along soon enough. He will be a gentleman, he will become your best friend and treat you the way you deserve to be treated. He will open your car doors, give you undivided attention and fall in love with you after your first date (and you'll make the most beautiful 9lb babies together:) It might not be the person you envisioned yourself with, but he will be so much more to you then you could ever dream of! And, you won't find a better set of in-laws who will love you and care for you just as much as their own children (it's true, those kind of in-laws do exist!)
Pick up your mom's camera and learn how to use it! Take a photography class in high school! You'll need it one day! Stop rolling your eyes when your mom wants to take 10 (million) pictures just to be sure she got one good one; you'll understand why someday!
You probably won't believe me on this one; but childhood friends won't be there for you forever. Time is not what makes a friendship strong. As you mature you'll realize your priorities aren't the same, and that's ok. You'll meet people who have the same goals, beliefs and faith and that's where your true friendships will be found. You'll get burned once, shame on them, you'll get burned twice, three times and more, shame on you. Don't be afraid to stand up for yourself and know when to walk away. Listen to your inner voice telling you you've had enough. The sooner you do, the easier it will be and the less disappointment you'll have to endure. Surrounding yourself with positive, like-minded people is what God wants for you.
Don't be such a brat on your trip to England over the summer just because you had to leave a boy behind. This is a once in a lifetime trip, and with that attitude you'll miss out of the beautiful scenery and learning about history. You'll one day so badly wish you could go back with a better attitude and enjoy the trip to the fullest. The boy will be there when you get back, I promise!
Breaking your foot your senior year of volleyball season isn't the end of the world, but yes, it's gonna stink!! Enjoy being part of the team anyway, you'll miss the camaraderie that a sports team brings.
Don't quit Jubilation (youth church choir). You'll miss being with your friends and wish you hadn't quit. You'll be jealous of the fun they have on their summer trips and be mad at yourself knowing you could have been there with them too.
Pick up a book and read more often. You'll love reading when you're older but won't have the time to as much as you'd like, so learn to enjoy it now!
Don't be scared of change; starting a new school in 11th grade will be one of the best decisions, even though a hard one! You'll make better friends and meet your future husband. This decision will give you the encouragement, support and confidence to get through the loss of your father. You'll have more opportunities to play sports and be involved the way you wish you could have been at your previous school, and the teachers will actually care about your loss and be sensitive to it.
Don't get that perm in 12th grade. Enough said.
Go with your mom more often to visit your Grandma. You won't get to say goodbye because you'll be out of state dealing with another loss when she gets sick and passes away. So, enjoy the monotoney of watching Jeopardy, Wheel-of Fortune and Murder She Wrote with her, even if there are other things you'd rather be doing, you'll miss the simplicity of her visits and the company of her sweet demeanor.
Cut the attitude because you know how your mom says "One day you'll have a girl JUST like you"
???
Well it's true. Maybe you can prevent having to deal with her attitude if you can learn to loose yours now ;) Hey it's worth the shot, TRUST me!!
Sincerely,
Your future/wiser self
Once I got writing, I could have included a TON more! Most of which though, I wouldn't want to share publicly. But, I'm sure we can all relate. What if you wrote a letter to yourself? What do you wish you knew then that you know now? I'm sure 10-20 years from now I'll have more advice for myself. With that, I'm saying good-bye; going to turn off the tv and spend some time with my kids; as I'm sure that will be at the top of my list in 20 years, man they grow so fast!
If you write a letter to yourself, would you mind sharing? I'd love to read it!
~Susan
Wednesday, April 23, 2014
Thursday, March 13, 2014
14 Years Feels Like A Lifetime
14 years.
Wait, what?!?
Has it really been 14 years since that heart-stopping, gut-turning, life-altering phone call came through? Has it really been 14 years since I was just a naive 10th grader without a clue of what true pain meant; until this stormy Monday night? I was only 16. My world had consisted of what my weekend plans were going to be, if my looser-of-a-boyfriend was ever going to call me back, what the note from my friend passed between science and study hall said, where I could park at school so no one would see me exiting out of the passenger side of the truck because my door handle from the inside wouldn't work. No, no I had no idea what it meant to have big-girl problems. But Monday, March 13th I grew up; a lot, and quickly.
We had driven to the hospital not knowing the worst was yet to come. My mom and I were still hopeful. Praying and pleading that my dad would be ok when we got there. Unfortunately we were put into one of those tiny rooms that no one wants to ever set foot in. The room that's just big enough for immediate family. The room with walls so bare all you can do is look at the ground or the ceiling and you don't dare look at each other because if you do, you will see it. You will see in each others eyes what the other is thinking, and that it will confirm that you are thinking the same thing. Then it happened. The heartless nurse waltzed in and announced exactly what we were praying and pleading we wouldn't have to hear.
All I could think and say was "He's in Heaven now. He's in Heaven now. He's in Heaven now. He's in Heaven now." And then I sat in the hall of the hospital and bawled my eyeballs out.
Where do you go from there? Sometimes it seems so surreal that I went thru such tragic loss. And sometimes it feels like yesterday. It's amazing the details you remember when you go through something like that, but yet the memory of what everyday life around him was like has faded. His voice is fading, his laugh is fading. Yet some memories are so real I can close my eyes and almost be in that moment with him. At the house he grew up in on West Virginia soil- making colby-jack toasted bread in the toaster oven and walking out to the pond listening to old mountaineer stories. Sitting out on the front porch and watching the trains go by, heading into "town" for dinner at one of the only two restaurants. Helping with the family reunions that he so dearly loved, being so proud to watch him stand up and talk about family like there was nothing else in the world. Being handed a roll of quarters to play games in the arcade at the reunion resort and being told not to spend it all at once. Having him ask me "Hey wanna go for a ride?"(in his truck) and somehow always ending up at the Steak and Shake drive-thru for a strawberry milkshake, and having him offer a nickel for my thoughts on the way home. Going to school late at night with him to prep the donuts and orange juice to sell in the morning. And probably one of my favorites; going to his office to eat lunch with him (or to use his TV when he was out ;) and finding notes from him in my lunch that I had left in his fridge.
There are more memories; specific ones like above. But honestly the everyday memory is gone. And that's ok. We are human. We are not made to remember everything. Life goes on and we make new memories, but we hold fast to those big ones, specific ones that never escape our mind bank. As I was saying to my friend recently, just because their memory fades, doesn't mean we love them any less. It doesn't mean we miss them any less. I miss my dad just as much now as I did that dark and stormy Monday-night-before-pi-day (as a math teacher, it was one of his favorite day's at school).
I hate that I can't imagine what it would be like to have him here right this second. To sit on the couch with me and tell me it's going to be ok. I don't know what it would be like to see him interact with my children, other then the fact I know there would be a lot of giggling going on! But dwelling on that too long doesn't do any one any good. I've learned to be thankful to having even known him and the joy he brought to others. Just because I don't spend everyday of my life sad and angry doesn't mean I don't love him or miss him any less then I already do. It's just that I've decided to choose the other path. The one where I know he's in Heaven. I know he's praising God, and what better place to be?!? My humanly desire is to have him here with me and my family, with my children and one day their children, but my soul is thankful that he knew and believed in the One who is mighty to save! Thankful that one day we will meet again. I know it's easy for people to use this whole idea as a "way out" of their sadness, but I truly believe it. I can still hear his deep voice singing "It Is Well With My Soul". What an amazing song and story; Horatio Spafford wrote it while passing over the same spot where his four daughters died in a voyage to Europe. He had also lost two 4 year old sons (at different times in life) to scarlet fever. If he can get through that, then I can get through my past trials and help my friends through their current one.
14 years feels like a lifetime; and technically it is. There's my life before I lost my dad, and my life after. I've now lived more then half my life without him. But life must go on. We can't daily grieve for the lost because we still have the living. I still need to be a wife, mother, daughter, sister and friend.
Thank you dad for your humor, your compassion and your love. You are greatly missed, everyday.
Please hug on David for me, say hi to Zeke for me, and please make sure to meet sweet Jubilee. Her big eyes will make you melt!
Love your daughter,
Susan
Wait, what?!?
Has it really been 14 years since that heart-stopping, gut-turning, life-altering phone call came through? Has it really been 14 years since I was just a naive 10th grader without a clue of what true pain meant; until this stormy Monday night? I was only 16. My world had consisted of what my weekend plans were going to be, if my looser-of-a-boyfriend was ever going to call me back, what the note from my friend passed between science and study hall said, where I could park at school so no one would see me exiting out of the passenger side of the truck because my door handle from the inside wouldn't work. No, no I had no idea what it meant to have big-girl problems. But Monday, March 13th I grew up; a lot, and quickly.
We had driven to the hospital not knowing the worst was yet to come. My mom and I were still hopeful. Praying and pleading that my dad would be ok when we got there. Unfortunately we were put into one of those tiny rooms that no one wants to ever set foot in. The room that's just big enough for immediate family. The room with walls so bare all you can do is look at the ground or the ceiling and you don't dare look at each other because if you do, you will see it. You will see in each others eyes what the other is thinking, and that it will confirm that you are thinking the same thing. Then it happened. The heartless nurse waltzed in and announced exactly what we were praying and pleading we wouldn't have to hear.
All I could think and say was "He's in Heaven now. He's in Heaven now. He's in Heaven now. He's in Heaven now." And then I sat in the hall of the hospital and bawled my eyeballs out.
Where do you go from there? Sometimes it seems so surreal that I went thru such tragic loss. And sometimes it feels like yesterday. It's amazing the details you remember when you go through something like that, but yet the memory of what everyday life around him was like has faded. His voice is fading, his laugh is fading. Yet some memories are so real I can close my eyes and almost be in that moment with him. At the house he grew up in on West Virginia soil- making colby-jack toasted bread in the toaster oven and walking out to the pond listening to old mountaineer stories. Sitting out on the front porch and watching the trains go by, heading into "town" for dinner at one of the only two restaurants. Helping with the family reunions that he so dearly loved, being so proud to watch him stand up and talk about family like there was nothing else in the world. Being handed a roll of quarters to play games in the arcade at the reunion resort and being told not to spend it all at once. Having him ask me "Hey wanna go for a ride?"(in his truck) and somehow always ending up at the Steak and Shake drive-thru for a strawberry milkshake, and having him offer a nickel for my thoughts on the way home. Going to school late at night with him to prep the donuts and orange juice to sell in the morning. And probably one of my favorites; going to his office to eat lunch with him (or to use his TV when he was out ;) and finding notes from him in my lunch that I had left in his fridge.
There are more memories; specific ones like above. But honestly the everyday memory is gone. And that's ok. We are human. We are not made to remember everything. Life goes on and we make new memories, but we hold fast to those big ones, specific ones that never escape our mind bank. As I was saying to my friend recently, just because their memory fades, doesn't mean we love them any less. It doesn't mean we miss them any less. I miss my dad just as much now as I did that dark and stormy Monday-night-before-pi-day (as a math teacher, it was one of his favorite day's at school).
I hate that I can't imagine what it would be like to have him here right this second. To sit on the couch with me and tell me it's going to be ok. I don't know what it would be like to see him interact with my children, other then the fact I know there would be a lot of giggling going on! But dwelling on that too long doesn't do any one any good. I've learned to be thankful to having even known him and the joy he brought to others. Just because I don't spend everyday of my life sad and angry doesn't mean I don't love him or miss him any less then I already do. It's just that I've decided to choose the other path. The one where I know he's in Heaven. I know he's praising God, and what better place to be?!? My humanly desire is to have him here with me and my family, with my children and one day their children, but my soul is thankful that he knew and believed in the One who is mighty to save! Thankful that one day we will meet again. I know it's easy for people to use this whole idea as a "way out" of their sadness, but I truly believe it. I can still hear his deep voice singing "It Is Well With My Soul". What an amazing song and story; Horatio Spafford wrote it while passing over the same spot where his four daughters died in a voyage to Europe. He had also lost two 4 year old sons (at different times in life) to scarlet fever. If he can get through that, then I can get through my past trials and help my friends through their current one.
14 years feels like a lifetime; and technically it is. There's my life before I lost my dad, and my life after. I've now lived more then half my life without him. But life must go on. We can't daily grieve for the lost because we still have the living. I still need to be a wife, mother, daughter, sister and friend.
Thank you dad for your humor, your compassion and your love. You are greatly missed, everyday.
Please hug on David for me, say hi to Zeke for me, and please make sure to meet sweet Jubilee. Her big eyes will make you melt!
Love your daughter,
Susan
Tuesday, March 4, 2014
Jubilee Hope - Couldn't Be A More Perfect Name
No doubt this weekend has been a first for us. It has brought us
closer (in our marriage and also in our walk with Christ) in ways I cannot
describe. To see your best friends go through the unimaginable will bring you
back to reality and what's important in life quicker then the crack of a
lightning bolt.
It's been an amazing and eye opening experience to be alongside our
friends as their 3-month-old daughter fought the good fight. No parent should
have to bury their child, especially at such a young and fragile age. No parent
should endure multiple 911 calls, ambulance rides, CPR sessions and flat lining
with their infant. But alas, my friends did. They have endured the pain of
their daughter's disorder day in and day out for the last 6 weeks. Everyday started
with the question if this would be her last. Everyday they prayed for her,
loved on her, talked to her, smiled at her, sang to her, kissed on her and told
her in more ways then just their voice that they loved her more then words
could describe. There is no doubt she knew God's love for her through her
parent's actions. There is no doubt that Jesus has used her story to bring
people all over the country (even us) closer to Christ. There is no doubt that
this baby girl was born with greater purpose then we could ever imagine and
will ever understand.
This weekend we were blessed to be with our friends across the
country as they celebrated the short but highly impactful life of their
3-month-old daughter.
I distinctly remember the day they told us they were expecting their
third child. We were hanging out on the court after class at the gym. So giddy
and excited to share the good news we were smiling from ear to ear knowing they
had wanted this child so badly. But your life can change in the blink of an
eye. Having no idea they were both carriers of a genetic disorder, the news of
their daughter’s future was devastating.
But the story doesn't end there. There are many ways they could have
reacted; there are many ways they could have handled their new lifestyle. After
the initial shock and mental/emotional processing, they decided to give their
child joy. Instead of being bitter, upset, angry and revengeful, they chose to
spend their limited days thanking God for her and the opportunity to spend as
much time with their daughter as possible.
Our friends have inspired us, and many others, in ways that can only
come from God. We are so thankful to call them friends. It's amazing to see
God's plan unfold in areas you would least expect it. He knew exactly what He
was doing when we chose to live much further from the base then any of the
friends we already had at our new location; He knew Kristen and Nate would be
there. He knew Kristen and I would meet at a spouses’ function and hit it off
as friends right away. He knew our families would become close as we went
camping and riding over the summers together. And He knew they would be
enduring what every parent shouldn't, and that Gabriel and I would be there
every step of the way for them.
These last 6 weeks I have constantly been wishing I could take their
pain from them; that I could even take their place for them. Not that I want to
loose a child, but that I want to not see them suffer. Oh, what I would do to
ease their pain. But this is God's plan, and thankfully they have embraced that
truth and have been able to get through it with what only God's love and
comfort can do. To watch our friends endure the pain that God did as His Son
was crucified on the cross, is indescribable. But that's also exactly what
makes it so amazing, that we are reminded that God has gone through this
suffering as well. That He understands their pain and that He is here to
comfort them and guide them along the way.
Thank you Jesus for working in my friends' life. Thank You for
loving them in ways they might not even see or completely understand. Thank You
for allowing us to be with them this weekend and be able to witness what an
impact they and their daughter have had on their community. Thank You for
giving them the strength and courage to get through this and to tell others,
especially their daughters that You are the reason they can hold their head
high and continue on. Thank You for dying on the cross so Jubilee could go to
Heaven and be with You for eternity. Thank You for giving our friends the
understanding that she is no longer suffering but is forever praising Your
name, and that one day they will be able to join with her in the heavenly
chorus!
Now go and hug your loved ones tight and tell them you love them, because believe me, you never know when your last chance to do so will be!
"Christ alone, cornerstone.
Weak make strong in the Savior's love.
Through the storm, He is Lord, Lord of all!"
Through the storm, He is Lord, Lord of all!"
Thursday, September 19, 2013
Kid Friendly Chicken "Marsala"
Ok, so I'm fully aware that Marsala is a wine, and because this recipe does not include the wine, then really it can't be called Chicken Marsala! Right? True, but it reminds me of a kiddie version of Chicken Marsala, so thats what I'm going to call it; wine or not.
You basically coat and cook the chicken like you would for chicken parmesan (which is why its SO good)(also the secret is the dusting of flour before dipping in eggs and then the breadcrumbs)
but instead of making a wine sauce or using tomato sauce you use chicken broth and top with sautéed mushrooms, onions and garlic. I kinda threw this together so Im guessing on the amounts for everything, but exacts aren't important in cooking, only in baking, right? :)
Enjoy!
Kid Friendly Chicken "Marsala"
4 boneless skinless chicken breasts
salt and pepper to taste
2 eggs
2 cups Italian bread crumbs
1/4 cup grated Parmesan cheese
Begin by warming 2 TBSP of EVOO in a pan for sautéing. Add sliced mushrooms and onions and cook over medium heat until onions are almost translucent, then add garlic and cook for another 2 minutes. Take off heat and set aside.
Place chicken breasts between two sheets of heavy plastic (resealable freezer bags work well) on a solid surface. Firmly pound chicken with the smooth side of a meat mallet to a thickness of 1/2-inch. Season chicken thoroughly with salt and pepper.
Beat eggs in a shallow bowl and set aside
Mix bread crumbs and 1/4 cup Parmesan in a separate bowl, set aside
Sprinkle flour over chicken breasts, evenly coating both sides
Dip flour coated chicken breast in beaten eggs. Transfer breast to breadcrumb mixture, pressing the crumbs into both sides. Repeat for each breast.
Heat 1 cup olive oil in a large skillet on medium-high heat until it begins to shimmer. Cook chicken until golden, about 2 minutes on each side. The chicken will finish cooking in the oven.
Place chicken in sprayed 9x13 pan and top with mushroom and onion mixture. Pour chicken broth on top of chicken and place in oven for 15 minutes.
Top chicken with shredded or sliced mozzarella (or pepper jack for adults) and heat in oven for 5 more minutes or until melted and chicken is cooked through.
Serve with cooked rice or mashed potatoes and veggies of your choice! My kids gobbled this up and they normally complain about mushrooms :)
You basically coat and cook the chicken like you would for chicken parmesan (which is why its SO good)(also the secret is the dusting of flour before dipping in eggs and then the breadcrumbs)
but instead of making a wine sauce or using tomato sauce you use chicken broth and top with sautéed mushrooms, onions and garlic. I kinda threw this together so Im guessing on the amounts for everything, but exacts aren't important in cooking, only in baking, right? :)
Enjoy!
Kid Friendly Chicken "Marsala"
4 boneless skinless chicken breasts
salt and pepper to taste
2 eggs
2 cups Italian bread crumbs
1/4 cup grated Parmesan cheese
2 TBSP flour, or more if needed
1 cup EVOO, plus 2 TBSP
1 package sliced white mushrooms
1/2 diced yellow or sweet onion
1 TBSP minced garlic, or more to taste
1 cup chicken broth
Mozzarella or Pepper Jack Cheese for melting on top
Preheat oven to 450 degrees.
Begin by warming 2 TBSP of EVOO in a pan for sautéing. Add sliced mushrooms and onions and cook over medium heat until onions are almost translucent, then add garlic and cook for another 2 minutes. Take off heat and set aside.
Place chicken breasts between two sheets of heavy plastic (resealable freezer bags work well) on a solid surface. Firmly pound chicken with the smooth side of a meat mallet to a thickness of 1/2-inch. Season chicken thoroughly with salt and pepper.
Beat eggs in a shallow bowl and set aside
Mix bread crumbs and 1/4 cup Parmesan in a separate bowl, set aside
Sprinkle flour over chicken breasts, evenly coating both sides
Dip flour coated chicken breast in beaten eggs. Transfer breast to breadcrumb mixture, pressing the crumbs into both sides. Repeat for each breast.
Heat 1 cup olive oil in a large skillet on medium-high heat until it begins to shimmer. Cook chicken until golden, about 2 minutes on each side. The chicken will finish cooking in the oven.
Place chicken in sprayed 9x13 pan and top with mushroom and onion mixture. Pour chicken broth on top of chicken and place in oven for 15 minutes.
Top chicken with shredded or sliced mozzarella (or pepper jack for adults) and heat in oven for 5 more minutes or until melted and chicken is cooked through.
Serve with cooked rice or mashed potatoes and veggies of your choice! My kids gobbled this up and they normally complain about mushrooms :)
Let me know if you make it and how it turned out!
~Susan
Saturday, September 14, 2013
Be Still And Wait
Yesterday was a big stepping stone. I gathered our completed application, a check and a copy of our homestudy and headed to the post office. All our hopes and dreams of what the future addition to our family will be like was in that envelope. Once this packet arrives at their office (in FL) we will be on their active waiting list, which means at any time we could receive a call. I'm realistic; I know the estimated time is 12-24 months, but I also know that our God has His own timing. Because we are estimated to move in a year, time is of the essence in this process.
Without going into too many specifics; we did open ourselves up to either gender, any race and age up to 18 months old. One thing I have wanted to do was leave it up to God. We want the birthmother to read our profile and pick us because she wants her child to be in our family for who we are, that she sees us and just knows that are THE family for her child.
We have had discussions on who we imagine our child will be, but ultimately it's up to God. He knows the desires of our hearts, His plans might be different then ours, but that's why we trust Him as the final decision maker. We are praying that because we have a broad spectrum of check marks on our application that we will be matched sooner then later.
We also know that this might not be God's plan for us at all either. The foster care offices in Alaska still have our homestudy on file, we could receive a phone call from them any day. We are also still open to a private adoption, like if a friend has a friend who is looking to place her child for adoption locally but not through an agency. We know that God works in many ways, which is exciting!
I just felt like we needed to get our foot in the door elsewhere if we wanted something to happen before we move. I'm happy that we are being proactive and getting the ball rolling somewhere. Now I feel like we are at a place where we can be still and wait.
~Susan
Without going into too many specifics; we did open ourselves up to either gender, any race and age up to 18 months old. One thing I have wanted to do was leave it up to God. We want the birthmother to read our profile and pick us because she wants her child to be in our family for who we are, that she sees us and just knows that are THE family for her child.
We have had discussions on who we imagine our child will be, but ultimately it's up to God. He knows the desires of our hearts, His plans might be different then ours, but that's why we trust Him as the final decision maker. We are praying that because we have a broad spectrum of check marks on our application that we will be matched sooner then later.
We also know that this might not be God's plan for us at all either. The foster care offices in Alaska still have our homestudy on file, we could receive a phone call from them any day. We are also still open to a private adoption, like if a friend has a friend who is looking to place her child for adoption locally but not through an agency. We know that God works in many ways, which is exciting!
I just felt like we needed to get our foot in the door elsewhere if we wanted something to happen before we move. I'm happy that we are being proactive and getting the ball rolling somewhere. Now I feel like we are at a place where we can be still and wait.
~Susan
Wednesday, September 4, 2013
Southwest OK Newborn Photographer | Baby L
My sweet friend recently welcomed her first baby into the world! We were able to get some fun shots of him at 8 days old. He was such a little trooper and a fantastic sleeper! Thanks baby for making it easy on me :) He is one blessed little boy because you can tell just how much mommy and daddy are in love with him through these photos!
Here's some of my favorites!
Here's some of my favorites!
Susan
Wetlesen Photography specializes in newborn,
birth, family and lifestyle photography
in Southwest Oklahoma and surrounding areas including but not limited
to Lawton, Wichita Falls and Altus.
Wednesday, August 28, 2013
Now What?
The fingerprints have been rolled, our backgrounds have been checked. Our finances have been picked through, and we have answered over 12 pages of questions about ourselves. We've submitted over 60 pages of paperwork, made it through two house visits, and endured nerve wrecking one on one interviews about our reasons for adopting.
This microscope we have been examined under is called the homestudy; and it is DONE!
So now what? Where do we go from here? I feel like because we are in the military and we are on track to move in a years time (or sooner or later...really, who knows!) we are at a huge disadvantage in this whole process, because adopting, in general, takes TIME! Of course there are circumstances where it can happen sooner then you'd think, but for the most part it's months if not years worth of waiting before being placed with a child. Originally we had thought we weren't going to use an agency, but now we are opening our options to that as well. I have submitted our homestudy to a few of the foster care offices in Alaska; I've asked them to review it and keep it on file just incase there's a child who is in the age range we have submitted that becomes legally free and needs to be adopted. I was told they don't have any children they can think of right now that would fit that bill, and that they try to keep their once-foster-care-children in the state of Alaska so they can have some security and be close to relatives (if there are any), but that they would "keep us in mind."
We have been talking with a few agencies, getting all their details and weighing our options. The local agency here won't accept our homestudy (since we didn't originally sign up with them and use their choice of a social worker to complete our homestudy), so that is pretty much out of the question. There is another agency in Fairbanks I am talking with too and have been compiling their information as well. Right now we are considering working with an agency in Florida. To me Florida is a great idea because we have family and friends there. We would have the moral support, as well as rides or a car we could borrow and a place to stay, which would be a huge blessing during the placement process.
We thought we had a lead with an agency in a particular state, but after some research and some scary findings, we decided that wasn't the route for us; even though they promised a baby in just a few months (talk about pulling our heart-strings and playing with our emotions). Ethics are huge to us and this agency, and state as a whole, seems to lack in that department. So on to the next route I guess...
We are also open to private newborn adoption as well, but have yet to encounter any leads in that area.
Since we are open to any path I feel like we are making it harder on ourselves. We can't decide exactly which way we want to pursue a child thus we haven't picked a plan and gone 100% in. I know research and decisions are important, but I wish we knew which way we were headed. It's all a blur right now and I'm ready to put my glasses on and see the clear picture. But, I know that God has it under control. His timing is perfect. Just because people (like me, stated above) don't think it's possible to be placed before we move doesn't mean we won't get a child soon. God has no timelines. He has no limits. He knows our situation, and He knows that we started this process when we were 100% ready. We didn't jump into it right away; even though we have talked about it literally for almost 10 years. We made sure we were ready in every aspect, and because of that, I know the timing is right. Even if it takes longer then I'd really want it to, it will all come together when it's supposed to.
My verse for this season of our lives is Philippians 4:6:
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.
I AM anxious (I am working on that)....but I am excited, I want to get this show on the road and add to our family! I would love to bring a child home yesterday! The Lord knows this. He knows the desires of our hearts (Psalm 37:4). He knows about the child we've dreamed about welcoming into our family. He knows that we, as a family, have prayed for this child. He knows every word we will speak to each person involved in this process. He knows every thought of excitement and doubt that will go through our mind. He knows the path we will ultimately venture down in receiving this child, and He knows exactly which child that will be; and this is what makes the whole tiring and taxing process ultimately....perfect!
~Susan
This microscope we have been examined under is called the homestudy; and it is DONE!
So now what? Where do we go from here? I feel like because we are in the military and we are on track to move in a years time (or sooner or later...really, who knows!) we are at a huge disadvantage in this whole process, because adopting, in general, takes TIME! Of course there are circumstances where it can happen sooner then you'd think, but for the most part it's months if not years worth of waiting before being placed with a child. Originally we had thought we weren't going to use an agency, but now we are opening our options to that as well. I have submitted our homestudy to a few of the foster care offices in Alaska; I've asked them to review it and keep it on file just incase there's a child who is in the age range we have submitted that becomes legally free and needs to be adopted. I was told they don't have any children they can think of right now that would fit that bill, and that they try to keep their once-foster-care-children in the state of Alaska so they can have some security and be close to relatives (if there are any), but that they would "keep us in mind."
We have been talking with a few agencies, getting all their details and weighing our options. The local agency here won't accept our homestudy (since we didn't originally sign up with them and use their choice of a social worker to complete our homestudy), so that is pretty much out of the question. There is another agency in Fairbanks I am talking with too and have been compiling their information as well. Right now we are considering working with an agency in Florida. To me Florida is a great idea because we have family and friends there. We would have the moral support, as well as rides or a car we could borrow and a place to stay, which would be a huge blessing during the placement process.
We thought we had a lead with an agency in a particular state, but after some research and some scary findings, we decided that wasn't the route for us; even though they promised a baby in just a few months (talk about pulling our heart-strings and playing with our emotions). Ethics are huge to us and this agency, and state as a whole, seems to lack in that department. So on to the next route I guess...
We are also open to private newborn adoption as well, but have yet to encounter any leads in that area.
Since we are open to any path I feel like we are making it harder on ourselves. We can't decide exactly which way we want to pursue a child thus we haven't picked a plan and gone 100% in. I know research and decisions are important, but I wish we knew which way we were headed. It's all a blur right now and I'm ready to put my glasses on and see the clear picture. But, I know that God has it under control. His timing is perfect. Just because people (like me, stated above) don't think it's possible to be placed before we move doesn't mean we won't get a child soon. God has no timelines. He has no limits. He knows our situation, and He knows that we started this process when we were 100% ready. We didn't jump into it right away; even though we have talked about it literally for almost 10 years. We made sure we were ready in every aspect, and because of that, I know the timing is right. Even if it takes longer then I'd really want it to, it will all come together when it's supposed to.
My verse for this season of our lives is Philippians 4:6:
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.
I AM anxious (I am working on that)....but I am excited, I want to get this show on the road and add to our family! I would love to bring a child home yesterday! The Lord knows this. He knows the desires of our hearts (Psalm 37:4). He knows about the child we've dreamed about welcoming into our family. He knows that we, as a family, have prayed for this child. He knows every word we will speak to each person involved in this process. He knows every thought of excitement and doubt that will go through our mind. He knows the path we will ultimately venture down in receiving this child, and He knows exactly which child that will be; and this is what makes the whole tiring and taxing process ultimately....perfect!
~Susan
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