Tuesday, September 9, 2014

A Bittersweet Birthday

Today my baby boy turns one. I know for some people this might not sound like a huge deal, but for us, for him, it is. Almost a year ago we got the call that a preemie baby boy in the NICU needed a family. That call I answered on a Friday afternoon in the middle of the drive-thru coffee hut changed our lives, and his, forever.

My husband and I have been talking about adopting since we were dating over 13 years ago. So when we got the phone call about our son, this was an answer to prayer. An answer to a calling we had been  ready for, for a very long time.

Today as we celebrate him and all he has accomplished in this last year, and through all my excitement, I can't help but be a little sad. Being adopted myself, I always think of my birth mom on my birthday. Wondering if she is thinking of me and what her life is like, and what it must feel like to be reminded every year on Oct 9th (and probably everyday) what it felt like to willingly let her child go, hoping and praying that this was the right decision for the both of us. So now I get to think of my son's birth mom and what she must be feeling on this day. Especially this first birthday of his. As a mother of 3 bioligical children I can't help but grieve a little for Jude's birthmother. I have no idea what life is like for her right now. But I can guarantee she is thinking of him today, wondering what life is like for him. I want so badly for her to know how much he is loved, cherished and adored. Not only by my husband and me, but also by his brothers and sister. All we can do at this point is be thankful, not only that she was willing to "give him a better life", but thankful that God orchestrated this whole thing. That when my husband and I were dating back in college and discussing adopting, that God knew it would be Jude. He planned for him to be a part of our family just as much as Cheyenne, JD and Chase. And possibly ______, ________, _______......who knows what the future holds for our family, thankfully God does!

So as we are singing Happy Birthday, letting him dig into cake, giving him kisses, opening gifts and telling him how much we love him (as we do everyday), know that we are thinking of his birth mom too. Praying that through all of this, that she will come to know Christ as her Savior, and know that through all the pain and second-guessing, that God always had this plan for her little boy. And that we love him just as much as his siblings, and even through the challenges he may face in the future due to circumstances out of his (and our) control, we will love him all the same, and we will raise him to know the love of God. Will you please pray for her today, too?

Susan