Today my baby boy turns one. I know for some people this might not sound like a huge deal, but for us, for him, it is. Almost a year ago we got the call that a preemie baby boy in the NICU needed a family. That call I answered on a Friday afternoon in the middle of the drive-thru coffee hut changed our lives, and his, forever.
My husband and I have been talking about adopting since we were dating over 13 years ago. So when we got the phone call about our son, this was an answer to prayer. An answer to a calling we had been ready for, for a very long time.
Today as we celebrate him and all he has accomplished in this last year, and through all my excitement, I can't help but be a little sad. Being adopted myself, I always think of my birth mom on my birthday. Wondering if she is thinking of me and what her life is like, and what it must feel like to be reminded every year on Oct 9th (and probably everyday) what it felt like to willingly let her child go, hoping and praying that this was the right decision for the both of us. So now I get to think of my son's birth mom and what she must be feeling on this day. Especially this first birthday of his. As a mother of 3 bioligical children I can't help but grieve a little for Jude's birthmother. I have no idea what life is like for her right now. But I can guarantee she is thinking of him today, wondering what life is like for him. I want so badly for her to know how much he is loved, cherished and adored. Not only by my husband and me, but also by his brothers and sister. All we can do at this point is be thankful, not only that she was willing to "give him a better life", but thankful that God orchestrated this whole thing. That when my husband and I were dating back in college and discussing adopting, that God knew it would be Jude. He planned for him to be a part of our family just as much as Cheyenne, JD and Chase. And possibly ______, ________, _______......who knows what the future holds for our family, thankfully God does!
So as we are singing Happy Birthday, letting him dig into cake, giving him kisses, opening gifts and telling him how much we love him (as we do everyday), know that we are thinking of his birth mom too. Praying that through all of this, that she will come to know Christ as her Savior, and know that through all the pain and second-guessing, that God always had this plan for her little boy. And that we love him just as much as his siblings, and even through the challenges he may face in the future due to circumstances out of his (and our) control, we will love him all the same, and we will raise him to know the love of God. Will you please pray for her today, too?
Susan
Showing posts with label Adoption. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Adoption. Show all posts
Tuesday, September 9, 2014
Saturday, September 14, 2013
Be Still And Wait
Yesterday was a big stepping stone. I gathered our completed application, a check and a copy of our homestudy and headed to the post office. All our hopes and dreams of what the future addition to our family will be like was in that envelope. Once this packet arrives at their office (in FL) we will be on their active waiting list, which means at any time we could receive a call. I'm realistic; I know the estimated time is 12-24 months, but I also know that our God has His own timing. Because we are estimated to move in a year, time is of the essence in this process.
Without going into too many specifics; we did open ourselves up to either gender, any race and age up to 18 months old. One thing I have wanted to do was leave it up to God. We want the birthmother to read our profile and pick us because she wants her child to be in our family for who we are, that she sees us and just knows that are THE family for her child.
We have had discussions on who we imagine our child will be, but ultimately it's up to God. He knows the desires of our hearts, His plans might be different then ours, but that's why we trust Him as the final decision maker. We are praying that because we have a broad spectrum of check marks on our application that we will be matched sooner then later.
We also know that this might not be God's plan for us at all either. The foster care offices in Alaska still have our homestudy on file, we could receive a phone call from them any day. We are also still open to a private adoption, like if a friend has a friend who is looking to place her child for adoption locally but not through an agency. We know that God works in many ways, which is exciting!
I just felt like we needed to get our foot in the door elsewhere if we wanted something to happen before we move. I'm happy that we are being proactive and getting the ball rolling somewhere. Now I feel like we are at a place where we can be still and wait.
~Susan
Without going into too many specifics; we did open ourselves up to either gender, any race and age up to 18 months old. One thing I have wanted to do was leave it up to God. We want the birthmother to read our profile and pick us because she wants her child to be in our family for who we are, that she sees us and just knows that are THE family for her child.
We have had discussions on who we imagine our child will be, but ultimately it's up to God. He knows the desires of our hearts, His plans might be different then ours, but that's why we trust Him as the final decision maker. We are praying that because we have a broad spectrum of check marks on our application that we will be matched sooner then later.
We also know that this might not be God's plan for us at all either. The foster care offices in Alaska still have our homestudy on file, we could receive a phone call from them any day. We are also still open to a private adoption, like if a friend has a friend who is looking to place her child for adoption locally but not through an agency. We know that God works in many ways, which is exciting!
I just felt like we needed to get our foot in the door elsewhere if we wanted something to happen before we move. I'm happy that we are being proactive and getting the ball rolling somewhere. Now I feel like we are at a place where we can be still and wait.
~Susan
Wednesday, August 28, 2013
Now What?
The fingerprints have been rolled, our backgrounds have been checked. Our finances have been picked through, and we have answered over 12 pages of questions about ourselves. We've submitted over 60 pages of paperwork, made it through two house visits, and endured nerve wrecking one on one interviews about our reasons for adopting.
This microscope we have been examined under is called the homestudy; and it is DONE!
So now what? Where do we go from here? I feel like because we are in the military and we are on track to move in a years time (or sooner or later...really, who knows!) we are at a huge disadvantage in this whole process, because adopting, in general, takes TIME! Of course there are circumstances where it can happen sooner then you'd think, but for the most part it's months if not years worth of waiting before being placed with a child. Originally we had thought we weren't going to use an agency, but now we are opening our options to that as well. I have submitted our homestudy to a few of the foster care offices in Alaska; I've asked them to review it and keep it on file just incase there's a child who is in the age range we have submitted that becomes legally free and needs to be adopted. I was told they don't have any children they can think of right now that would fit that bill, and that they try to keep their once-foster-care-children in the state of Alaska so they can have some security and be close to relatives (if there are any), but that they would "keep us in mind."
We have been talking with a few agencies, getting all their details and weighing our options. The local agency here won't accept our homestudy (since we didn't originally sign up with them and use their choice of a social worker to complete our homestudy), so that is pretty much out of the question. There is another agency in Fairbanks I am talking with too and have been compiling their information as well. Right now we are considering working with an agency in Florida. To me Florida is a great idea because we have family and friends there. We would have the moral support, as well as rides or a car we could borrow and a place to stay, which would be a huge blessing during the placement process.
We thought we had a lead with an agency in a particular state, but after some research and some scary findings, we decided that wasn't the route for us; even though they promised a baby in just a few months (talk about pulling our heart-strings and playing with our emotions). Ethics are huge to us and this agency, and state as a whole, seems to lack in that department. So on to the next route I guess...
We are also open to private newborn adoption as well, but have yet to encounter any leads in that area.
Since we are open to any path I feel like we are making it harder on ourselves. We can't decide exactly which way we want to pursue a child thus we haven't picked a plan and gone 100% in. I know research and decisions are important, but I wish we knew which way we were headed. It's all a blur right now and I'm ready to put my glasses on and see the clear picture. But, I know that God has it under control. His timing is perfect. Just because people (like me, stated above) don't think it's possible to be placed before we move doesn't mean we won't get a child soon. God has no timelines. He has no limits. He knows our situation, and He knows that we started this process when we were 100% ready. We didn't jump into it right away; even though we have talked about it literally for almost 10 years. We made sure we were ready in every aspect, and because of that, I know the timing is right. Even if it takes longer then I'd really want it to, it will all come together when it's supposed to.
My verse for this season of our lives is Philippians 4:6:
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.
I AM anxious (I am working on that)....but I am excited, I want to get this show on the road and add to our family! I would love to bring a child home yesterday! The Lord knows this. He knows the desires of our hearts (Psalm 37:4). He knows about the child we've dreamed about welcoming into our family. He knows that we, as a family, have prayed for this child. He knows every word we will speak to each person involved in this process. He knows every thought of excitement and doubt that will go through our mind. He knows the path we will ultimately venture down in receiving this child, and He knows exactly which child that will be; and this is what makes the whole tiring and taxing process ultimately....perfect!
~Susan
This microscope we have been examined under is called the homestudy; and it is DONE!
So now what? Where do we go from here? I feel like because we are in the military and we are on track to move in a years time (or sooner or later...really, who knows!) we are at a huge disadvantage in this whole process, because adopting, in general, takes TIME! Of course there are circumstances where it can happen sooner then you'd think, but for the most part it's months if not years worth of waiting before being placed with a child. Originally we had thought we weren't going to use an agency, but now we are opening our options to that as well. I have submitted our homestudy to a few of the foster care offices in Alaska; I've asked them to review it and keep it on file just incase there's a child who is in the age range we have submitted that becomes legally free and needs to be adopted. I was told they don't have any children they can think of right now that would fit that bill, and that they try to keep their once-foster-care-children in the state of Alaska so they can have some security and be close to relatives (if there are any), but that they would "keep us in mind."
We have been talking with a few agencies, getting all their details and weighing our options. The local agency here won't accept our homestudy (since we didn't originally sign up with them and use their choice of a social worker to complete our homestudy), so that is pretty much out of the question. There is another agency in Fairbanks I am talking with too and have been compiling their information as well. Right now we are considering working with an agency in Florida. To me Florida is a great idea because we have family and friends there. We would have the moral support, as well as rides or a car we could borrow and a place to stay, which would be a huge blessing during the placement process.
We thought we had a lead with an agency in a particular state, but after some research and some scary findings, we decided that wasn't the route for us; even though they promised a baby in just a few months (talk about pulling our heart-strings and playing with our emotions). Ethics are huge to us and this agency, and state as a whole, seems to lack in that department. So on to the next route I guess...
We are also open to private newborn adoption as well, but have yet to encounter any leads in that area.
Since we are open to any path I feel like we are making it harder on ourselves. We can't decide exactly which way we want to pursue a child thus we haven't picked a plan and gone 100% in. I know research and decisions are important, but I wish we knew which way we were headed. It's all a blur right now and I'm ready to put my glasses on and see the clear picture. But, I know that God has it under control. His timing is perfect. Just because people (like me, stated above) don't think it's possible to be placed before we move doesn't mean we won't get a child soon. God has no timelines. He has no limits. He knows our situation, and He knows that we started this process when we were 100% ready. We didn't jump into it right away; even though we have talked about it literally for almost 10 years. We made sure we were ready in every aspect, and because of that, I know the timing is right. Even if it takes longer then I'd really want it to, it will all come together when it's supposed to.
My verse for this season of our lives is Philippians 4:6:
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.
I AM anxious (I am working on that)....but I am excited, I want to get this show on the road and add to our family! I would love to bring a child home yesterday! The Lord knows this. He knows the desires of our hearts (Psalm 37:4). He knows about the child we've dreamed about welcoming into our family. He knows that we, as a family, have prayed for this child. He knows every word we will speak to each person involved in this process. He knows every thought of excitement and doubt that will go through our mind. He knows the path we will ultimately venture down in receiving this child, and He knows exactly which child that will be; and this is what makes the whole tiring and taxing process ultimately....perfect!
~Susan
Monday, June 10, 2013
Home Study Update
March 4th we got our fingerprints done and dropped them off at the Department of Public Safety to be processed for state and federal backgrounds checks. Normally the background checks take about 6 weeks; so when May came around and the checks still hadn't been sent to our homestudy writer, I made some phone calls to DPS to see what was going on. The lady on the phone assured me the checks had been send off on March 10th, but our writer said she hand't received them. So, two weeks later when she STILL hadn't received even the newly sent ones, we knew something was wrong!
That brings us to today; I just received an email from our homestudy writer and apparently our fingerprints and background checks were processed in March, but sat on someone's desk at DPS and were put into a file of prints that were submitted with missing or partial information and were just never put in the mail!
So finally, she has all our paperwork (about 60 pages we worked on!) and our fingerprints and background checks. Next up she will come and do a home visit where we will do an interview as a family; then the following week she will come back and interview us individually; and that should be it!
Hopefully in the next 2-3 weeks we will have a completed homestudy that we can submit to the foster care offices in Alaska; and then we wait! (We are also open to a private newborn adoption too.)
Since the child has to be in our home for 6 months before we can go to court to officially sign the adoption papers; we would need to be placed with a child by Dec or Jan time frame (because we are most likely moving June or July of next summer). I'm praying for His perfect timing, and I ask that you pray along side with us too.
That brings us to today; I just received an email from our homestudy writer and apparently our fingerprints and background checks were processed in March, but sat on someone's desk at DPS and were put into a file of prints that were submitted with missing or partial information and were just never put in the mail!
So finally, she has all our paperwork (about 60 pages we worked on!) and our fingerprints and background checks. Next up she will come and do a home visit where we will do an interview as a family; then the following week she will come back and interview us individually; and that should be it!
Hopefully in the next 2-3 weeks we will have a completed homestudy that we can submit to the foster care offices in Alaska; and then we wait! (We are also open to a private newborn adoption too.)
Since the child has to be in our home for 6 months before we can go to court to officially sign the adoption papers; we would need to be placed with a child by Dec or Jan time frame (because we are most likely moving June or July of next summer). I'm praying for His perfect timing, and I ask that you pray along side with us too.
Honestly, I have no idea what's going to happen in the next few months; but I know God has a child or children already hand picked for us, and knowing this brings peace and ease to the whole process :)
Thursday, February 28, 2013
Autobiography
As I'm starting to fill out the paperwork for the home study, one of the biggest documents is the autobiography. 12 pages of questions about yourself; from where were you born, to how did you and your spouse meet, to what are your motivations for adopting, to how do you resolve conflicts with your children? As you move further along in the questionnaire the questions get "harder" and more personal. I'm only on page 1 question 4 and I'm already stumbling.
"Are your parents still living? If not, how old were you when they died?"
My answer: "My dad was killed in a motorcycle accident when I was sixteen years old."
This fact is not new to me; obviously. But, the fact that I have to physically write that down, makes me realize how hard it is that my dad is not here to see us take on such an exciting, challenging yet rewarding process. Gabriel and I are in fact taking on the same calling my parents did when they welcomed me and my brothers into their home. If it weren't for my dad coming home one day saying "Well, lets put down boy OR girl on the paperwork", I might not have ever had the privilege to become his daughter. They were planning on adopting another son, but something special happened that day, he was able to help a little lost girl find her mother, and because of that, his heart and mind was changed.
Thank you Lord for sending that little girl into his life at that exact moment. Thank you for allowing him to help her out and to place that possible desire for a daughter on his heart. Thank you Lord for my father and the amazing man he was for my family, all his students and the community. Even though he can't be here today to love on his grandchildren, I thank you Lord for placing him in my life and for all the wonderful memories that no matter what, can't be taken away from me.
~Susan
"Are your parents still living? If not, how old were you when they died?"
My answer: "My dad was killed in a motorcycle accident when I was sixteen years old."
This fact is not new to me; obviously. But, the fact that I have to physically write that down, makes me realize how hard it is that my dad is not here to see us take on such an exciting, challenging yet rewarding process. Gabriel and I are in fact taking on the same calling my parents did when they welcomed me and my brothers into their home. If it weren't for my dad coming home one day saying "Well, lets put down boy OR girl on the paperwork", I might not have ever had the privilege to become his daughter. They were planning on adopting another son, but something special happened that day, he was able to help a little lost girl find her mother, and because of that, his heart and mind was changed.
Thank you Lord for sending that little girl into his life at that exact moment. Thank you for allowing him to help her out and to place that possible desire for a daughter on his heart. Thank you Lord for my father and the amazing man he was for my family, all his students and the community. Even though he can't be here today to love on his grandchildren, I thank you Lord for placing him in my life and for all the wonderful memories that no matter what, can't be taken away from me.
~Susan
Monday, February 25, 2013
The Beginning Of Our Journey
Since Gabriel and I got married we've talked about adoption; 9 years and 3 biological children later we have finally begun the process! This will be my first post about our journey!
A little back ground info...
When we lived in Delaware (our previous station) adoption was a subject that we had started to seriously talk about. Soon after doing some research and learning about a really neat agency (that we were excited to possibly use) called Bethany Christian Services we found out my husband was going to deploy for 4.5 months. Well, at that point the idea of adopting anytime in the near future went out the door. Completing a homestudy, taking care of 2 young children and a house while my husband was gone was not feasible.
After returning home from deployment we became pregnant with baby number 3 (along with quite a few other squadron couples; deployment babies are the best:) With this pregnancy we knew it would be a while before adopting would fit into our lives....
We then made the cross country move from Delaware to Alaska for our new assignment! Since moving here a year and a half ago we have talked about adopting on and off. It seemed like for 2-3 months we would research, talk, pray and attend meetings about adoption; then life would get busy, my husband would leave for training or go fly missions, kids would get sick, and I'd be engrossed in starting my photography business that adoption would once again take the back burner. Then a spark would bring up the conversation again and we would spend a few more months talking and contemplating this life altering decision. With so many avenues for adoption, the hardest decision is deciding which is best for your family, and where to start! I believe that this was the biggest reason why we had such a hard time getting the ball rolling. We just didn't know where to start. Foreign? Domestic? Agency? Private? Foster? Newborn? So many possibilities with really one outcome...to give a child a home, a family, love, security and to show them the unconditional love of Jesus.
Here are some Bible verses about adoption:
A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows,
is God in his holy dwelling.
6 God sets the lonely in families, he leads out the prisoners with singing;
but the rebellious live in a sun-scorched land.
~Psalms 68:5-6
Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.
~James 1:27
Learn to do good. Seek justice. Help the oppressed. Defend the cause of orphans. Fight for the rights of widows.
~Isaiah 1:17
Defend the cause of orphans. I love that verse. If we won't fight for them, then who will? These innocent children didn't ask to be abandoned, abused or neglected; they are not unloveable or hopeless. Unfortunately they believe they are because of the situations they have been put through, because the people they were naturally supposed to rely on and trust let them down.
Since moving to Alaska it has really been on my heart that God has a specific child (or children) already picked for us and I believe we will be blessed with this child while living here. Now, we just have to do our part in obeying His will and get the ball rolling!
We have picked out a homestudy writer (someone who performs the homestudy, compiles all the paperwork and concludes whether or not we are suitable to adopt) and now the process begins! She has emailed us a lot of documents to start filling out and we will be going to Anchorage to be fingerprinted soon. Even though we are not technically fostering, because we want to adopt a legally free child out of foster care; we must also become foster care licensed. Once the homestudy is done we plan to submit it to all the Offices of Child Services in the state of Alaska...then, we wait. We have not ruled out infant adoption, but have decided to try this route first. With the infant adoption, we would need a homestudy done too, as that is still an option for us.
I know this is a calling for us. A special way we can make a difference in another person's life, forever. With my love for children, my husband's true compassion for others, and our love for Jesus, I know we can change the world; one child at a time!
Please pray for us during this time. We will need wisdom to prepare our own children, perseverance to get through the mountain of paperwork, assurance to push through the doubt and strength to make it through the wait. I look forward to keeping you all updated on our process, and am already excited for the day we can announce the newest member of our family to you!
I want to leave you with my new favorite song by Audio Adrenaline. Every child has a dream to belong and be loved....
Kings and Queens
Blessings,
~Susan
All posts related to our adoption journey will be under the adoption tag at the top of the page.
A little back ground info...
When we lived in Delaware (our previous station) adoption was a subject that we had started to seriously talk about. Soon after doing some research and learning about a really neat agency (that we were excited to possibly use) called Bethany Christian Services we found out my husband was going to deploy for 4.5 months. Well, at that point the idea of adopting anytime in the near future went out the door. Completing a homestudy, taking care of 2 young children and a house while my husband was gone was not feasible.
After returning home from deployment we became pregnant with baby number 3 (along with quite a few other squadron couples; deployment babies are the best:) With this pregnancy we knew it would be a while before adopting would fit into our lives....
We then made the cross country move from Delaware to Alaska for our new assignment! Since moving here a year and a half ago we have talked about adopting on and off. It seemed like for 2-3 months we would research, talk, pray and attend meetings about adoption; then life would get busy, my husband would leave for training or go fly missions, kids would get sick, and I'd be engrossed in starting my photography business that adoption would once again take the back burner. Then a spark would bring up the conversation again and we would spend a few more months talking and contemplating this life altering decision. With so many avenues for adoption, the hardest decision is deciding which is best for your family, and where to start! I believe that this was the biggest reason why we had such a hard time getting the ball rolling. We just didn't know where to start. Foreign? Domestic? Agency? Private? Foster? Newborn? So many possibilities with really one outcome...to give a child a home, a family, love, security and to show them the unconditional love of Jesus.
Here are some Bible verses about adoption:
A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows,
is God in his holy dwelling.
6 God sets the lonely in families, he leads out the prisoners with singing;
but the rebellious live in a sun-scorched land.
~Psalms 68:5-6
Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.
~James 1:27
Learn to do good. Seek justice. Help the oppressed. Defend the cause of orphans. Fight for the rights of widows.
~Isaiah 1:17
Defend the cause of orphans. I love that verse. If we won't fight for them, then who will? These innocent children didn't ask to be abandoned, abused or neglected; they are not unloveable or hopeless. Unfortunately they believe they are because of the situations they have been put through, because the people they were naturally supposed to rely on and trust let them down.
Since moving to Alaska it has really been on my heart that God has a specific child (or children) already picked for us and I believe we will be blessed with this child while living here. Now, we just have to do our part in obeying His will and get the ball rolling!
We have picked out a homestudy writer (someone who performs the homestudy, compiles all the paperwork and concludes whether or not we are suitable to adopt) and now the process begins! She has emailed us a lot of documents to start filling out and we will be going to Anchorage to be fingerprinted soon. Even though we are not technically fostering, because we want to adopt a legally free child out of foster care; we must also become foster care licensed. Once the homestudy is done we plan to submit it to all the Offices of Child Services in the state of Alaska...then, we wait. We have not ruled out infant adoption, but have decided to try this route first. With the infant adoption, we would need a homestudy done too, as that is still an option for us.
I know this is a calling for us. A special way we can make a difference in another person's life, forever. With my love for children, my husband's true compassion for others, and our love for Jesus, I know we can change the world; one child at a time!
Please pray for us during this time. We will need wisdom to prepare our own children, perseverance to get through the mountain of paperwork, assurance to push through the doubt and strength to make it through the wait. I look forward to keeping you all updated on our process, and am already excited for the day we can announce the newest member of our family to you!
I want to leave you with my new favorite song by Audio Adrenaline. Every child has a dream to belong and be loved....
Kings and Queens
Blessings,
~Susan
All posts related to our adoption journey will be under the adoption tag at the top of the page.
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